s have became bankers, prize fighters have turned evangelists
and the United States has went dry. Why shouldn't a stevedore become a
movie star?"

"We'll all become throwed outa here if you don't keep quiet!" I says.

"Ssh, Alex," says the wife. "Don't get so excited about it. There's
no use attempting the impossible and--"

"They ain't nothin impossible!" butts in Alex. "I'm willin' to prove
it. Why don't somebody bet me, hey?"

"Why don't you hire Madison Square Garden for that speech?" hisses a
guy behind us. "Heavens, what a pest!"

"Call the usher," puts in a dame with him. "Them people has did
nothin' but talk since they come in here!"

"What d'ye want us to do--sing?" growls Alex.

"Alex, be still!" whispers Eve. "I've missed the whole picture through
your talking. Now we'll have to stay and see it all over again."

"Have a nice time," says Alex, gettin' up and grabbin' my arm. "We'll
wait outside for you. One dose a day of Carrington De Vire is all I
can take!"

The bunch in back glares at us and says somethin' about what a crime it
is to let drunken men come into a theatre.

Outside on the pavement, Alex lets forth a snort and whiffs the fresh
air like it was wine.

"Think of my wife sittin' in there and worshippin' that big stiff," he
snarls. "And yours, too!"

"We all have our faults," I says. "I knowed a guy once which was crazy
over fried parsnips."

"They ain't nothin' to laugh at in this," he says, slappin' his hands
together. "I ain't a jealous man, but no movie hero is gonna be no god
to my wife!"

"Why don't you go in the movies yourself, then?" I says. "They might
hire you for a picture with Carrington De Vire in it, and you can knock
him kickin' in five reels or the like."

"Huh!" says Alex, "what do I care about the movies? I got a better
plan than that and it will accomplish the same purpose. I'll show Eve
and the rest of you how easy it is to be a movie hero--I'll make money
out of it, too!" he adds, with the old glitter in his eyes.

"What are you gonna do?" I says. "Speak quick, I can't stand
excitement!"

For answer he takes me into the hotel across the street and leads me
into the writin' room. He sits down and writes on a piece of paper for
a minute and then he hands it to me.

"Cast your eyes over that," he says, "and if it's satisfactory--sign
it!"

This is what I read,

"I, Alex Hanley, agree to hire one handsome, tall and perfectly built
stev