e next mornin', which is practically the middle of
the night for me, Alex comes around and drags me outta bed. He says
he's goin' down and watch Jared put the contract over and he wants me
along to witness the losin' of my bet.

We are in the lobby of the hotel gettin' ready to have Jared paged,
when along he comes with some dame he must have kidnapped from the
Follies when Ziegfield was busy countin' up the receipts or somethin'.
I'll tell the world fair she was _some_ girl.

She's lookin' at Jared like he was the eleventh wonder of the world,
and he's gazin' back at her like she was the other ten.

"Hello!" hollers Alex, grabbin' Jared's hand and makin' believe it's a
pump handle. "Congratulations! I wish I felt as happy as both you
folks look!"

"You couldn't!" says Jared, still with that dazed look on his face.
"This is my future wife, gentlemen. We're on our way down for the
license now. Come on along as witnesses. We're going to be married
right--"

"What about that steel contract?" Alex butts in. "Did you get the
figures all together last night?"

"I did not!" says Jared. "What do I care about a steel contract? I
landed a bigger contract than that, and--"

"Pardon me," interrupts the girl, with her million-dollar smile. "What
is this contract regarding the steel?"

Alex tells her the whole dope from start to finish, and when he gets
through the girl turns to Jared and says the followin':

"Well, dear, I suppose this horrid old business could wait, but just
run up and land that contract for a--a--wedding gift for me! It
shouldn't take you very long. I'll wait here for you."

Oh, boy!!! Talkin' about "just runnin' up and landin'" a
million-dollar contract like she was sendin' him for stamps or the like!

"All right, honey," says Jared; "I'll be down in five minutes!"

They was _fifteen_ minutes partin'.

Alex and Jared and I got in the elevator, and on the way up Jared
talked about nothin' else but his comin' marriage. When Alex tried to
butt in and ask regardin' the estimate for this steel job, Jared gets
peevish and says that will be a cinch and is practically over with; but
what's worryin' him is the best place to go for a honeymoon!

We are met at the door of the room by a little bald-headed guy, and
Jared introduces himself. The little guy looks at us and says he
presumes we are Jared's associates--whatever that is. Before Jared can
deny the charge, Alex presents him with a kic