y and playing his symphony,
Theodore asked his neighbour what was the name of the next guest, and
then sang:--

"Next comes Mr. Winter, collector of taxes,
And you must all pay him whatever he axes;
And down on the nail, without any flummery;
For though he's called Winter, his acts are all summary."

Horace Twiss tried to imitate him in this way, but failed. Hook's humour
was not of very high class. He was fond of practical jokes, such as that
of writing a hundred letters to tradesmen desiring them all to send
goods to a house on a given day. Sometimes he would surprise strangers
by addressing some strange question to them in the street. He started
the "John Bull" newspaper, in which he wrote many humorous papers, and
amused people by expressing his great surprise, on crossing the Channel,
to find that every little boy and girl could speak French.

He wrote cautionary verses against punning:--

"My little dears, who learn to read, pray early learn to shun
That very silly thing, indeed, which people call a pun;
Read Entick's rules, and 'twill be found how simple an offence
It is to make the self-same sound afford a double sense.
For instance, _ale_ may make you _ail_, your _aunt_ an _ant_ may kill,
You in a _vale_ may buy a _veil_, and _Bill_ may pay the _bill_;
Or if to France your bark you steer, at Dover it may be,
A _peer_ appears upon the _pier_, who blind still goes to _sea_."

But he was much given to the practice he condemns--here is an epigram--

"It seems as if Nature had cunningly planned
That men's names with their trades should agree,
There's Twining the tea-man, who lives in the Strand,
Would be _whining_ if robbed of his T."

Mistakes of words by the uneducated are a very ordinary resource of
humorists, but, of course, there is a great difference in the quality of
such jests. Mrs. Ramsbottom in Paris, eats a _voulez-vous_ of fowl, and
some pieces of _crape_, and goes to the _symetery_ of the _Chaise and
pair_. Afterwards she goes to the _Hotel de Veal_, and buys some _sieve_
jars to keep _popery_ in.

Hook was a strong Tory, and some of his best humour was political. One
of his squibs has been sometimes attributed to Lord Palmerston.

"Fair Reform, Celestial maid!
Hope of Britons! Hope of Britons!
Calls her followers to aid;
She has fit ones, she has fit ones!
They would brave in danger's day,
Death to win her! Death to win her;
If they met not b