red the strictures of his friends and relations
on this subject. He said that after he had finished his college course,
he was in great doubt as to what his future employment should be. He did
not feel himself good enough for the Church, he felt that his mind was
not properly disciplined for that holy office, and that the struggle
between his conscience and his impulses would have made life a torture.
He also shrank from the law, although Southey often told him that he was
well fitted for the higher parts of the profession. He had studied
military history with great interest, and the strategy of war; and he
always fancied that he had talents for command; and he at one time
thought of a military life, but then he was without connections, and he
felt if he were ordered to the West Indies his talents would not save
him from the yellow fever, and he gave that up. At this time he had only
a hundred a year. Upon this he lived, and travelled, and married, for it
was not until the late Lord Lonsdale came into possession that the money
which was due to them was restored. He mentioned this to show how
difficult it often was to judge of what was passing in a young man's
mind, but he thought that for the generality of men, it was much better
that they should be early led to the exercise of a profession of their
own choice.

_December_ 1846.--Henry Fletcher and I dined at the Mount on the 21st of
this month. The party consisted of Mr. Crabb Robinson (their Christmas
guest), Mrs. Arnold, Miss Martineau, and ourselves. My mother's cold was
too bad to allow her to go, which I regretted, as it was, like all their
little meetings, most sociable and agreeable. Wordsworth was much
pleased with a little notice of his new edition in the _Examiner_; he
thought it very well done. He expressed himself very sweetly at dinner
on the pleasant terms of neighbourly kindness we enjoyed in the valleys.
It will be pleasant in after times to remember his words, and still more
his manner when he said this, it was done with such perfect simplicity
and equality of feeling, without the slightest reference to self, and I
am sure without thinking of himself at the time as more than one of the
little circle whose friendly feeling he was commending.

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_October_ 1846.--Wordsworth dined with us one day last week, and was in
much greater vigour than I have seen him all this summer.

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