* * * * *

An Anti-lawn-tennis Lady considers that the argument against Croquet,
as a game involving a bent back, and a narrowing of the chest, is
merely "A very stoopit objection."

* * * * *

[Illustration: GUSHING HOSPITALITY. (TIME 3 P.M.)

_Hospitable Host_. "HAVE C'GAR, OLD F'LLA?"

_Languid Visitor_. "NO--THANKS!"

_H.H._ "CIGARETTE THEN?"

_His Visitor_. "NO--THANKS. NEVAR SMOKE 'MEJATELY AFTER BREAKFAST."

_H.H._ "CAN'T REFUSE A TOOTHPICK, THEN, OLD F'LLA?"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_The Royal Agricultural Society's Journal_. A Society Journal of
a peculiar character, of which this is the Third Series and Third
Volume. It is noticeable for Lord CATHCART's appeal for the wild
birds, which, as addressed to farmers and farm-labourers and armed
ploughboys, may be summed up by an adaptation of the refrain of the
remonstrance--so frequently urged by one of Lieutenant COLE's funny
figures--"Can't you let the birds alone?" Then Mr. HASTING "On
Vermin," which doesn't sound nice, though better than if the title
were _vice versa_,--is most interesting, especially where he tells us
that "shrews are harmless." If so, why did SHAKSPEARE give us "_The
Taming of the Shrew_" as such a feat? Professor BROWN writes about
disease in sheep, of which paper Lord ARTHUR WEEDON DE GROSSMITH
would be absolutely correct in observing, "What rot!" And, by the
way, _a propos_ of WEEDON, the Baron has to congratulate the Brothers
GROSSMITH on their _Diary of a Nobody_, republished from _Mr. Punch's_
pages, but with considerable additions. The Diary is very funny, not
a page of it but affords matter for a good laugh; and yet the story
is not without a touch of pathos, as it is impossible not to pity the
steady, prim, old-fashioned jog-trot NOBODY, whose son, but just one
remove above a regular 'ARRY, treats him with such unfilial rudeness.

It has been complained that the late General Election has not been
amusing, and has given birth to little fun. Let those who feel this
most acutely read Mr. R.C. LEHMANN's _The "Billsbury Election (Leaves
from the Diary of a Candidate)."_ He will tell you how Mr. RICHARD
B. PATTLE contested Billsbury in the Constitutional Interest; how he
"buttered up Billsbury like fun," was badgered by Billsbury, heckled
by Billsbury, taxed, tithed and tormented by Billsbury, and eventually
"chucked" by