y smile, and extended her arms
towards him. Then she spoke in the same gruff tone,

"Come to your MARTHA!"

And CHARLEY knew he had met a chum!

* * * * *

There, something like the above might do. The woods in the
neighbourhood of Herne Bay are just the places for adventure, and,
with thought, a good deal might be managed with the Reculvers.

And now, _Mr. Punch_, I have done.

Yours respectfully, A WILD WELSH RAREBIT.

* * * * *

COMMERCE A L'AMERICAINE.

(_PAGE FROM A DIARY ON THE POINT OF BEING WRITTEN_.)

_Monday_.--Miners of the Great Hagglenaggle Fields ask for increase
of wages, emphasising their demand by firing off revolvers and
brandishing bowie-knives.

_Tuesday_.--Masters of the Great Hagglenaggle Fields refuse to treat
with Miners, and entrench themselves behind ironclad back gardens.
They also send for a force of PATTERSON's Mercenary Chuckers-out.
Fighting imminent.

_Wednesday_.--Appearance of PATTERSON's Mercenary Chuckers out. They
are met by Miners with discharges of Gattling guns and land torpedoes.

_Thursday_.--The two armies face to face. Both sides fire away, using
up all their ammunition. End of the day's contest, no balance on
either side. Great success of the new General Interment Company.
Shares at thirty premium.

_Friday_.--Reinforcements for both sides. A general engagement
considered imminent. In the meanwhile, _pour passer le temps_,
skirmishes and slaughter of thousands.

_Saturday_.--First-class, regular all-round battle. A large force
arrived to fight the Miners, Gatlings and Krupps blaze away without
intermission. Losses on both sides pretty considerable.

_Sunday_.--Conversion of the Great Hagglenaggle Fields into a
cemetery. Great rise in shares on allotment. Ten acres of booking in
advance!

* * * * *

LAYS OF MODERN HOME.

NO. III.--OFF FOR MY HOLIDAY.

Yes! I'm off for my holiday. Forty odd pieces
Of luggage, three cabs, and a van, and a 'bus too.
Without counting loose wraps, and umbrellas in creases,
And sweets that my darlings are sucking with gusto.

Yes! I'm off for my holiday--wife in hysterics,
Since nowhere on earth can her poodle be found;
And the nurses and children--ANNES, LILIANS, ERICS--
All screaming, and fussing, and fuming around!

Yes! I'm off for my holiday--Tyneside, or Deeside,
Or Lakes, or that Switzerlan