I but a simple Major of Irregulars. Such is fortune and war!
But my feelings carry me away from my narrative, which had better
proceed with more order.

On arriving, I say, at our barracks at Dum Dum, I for the first time put
on the beautiful uniform of the Invincibles: a light blue swallow-tailed
jacket with silver lace and wings, ornamented with about 3,000
sugar-loaf buttons, rhubarb-colored leather inexpressibles (tights), and
red morocco boots with silver spurs and tassels, set off to admiration
the handsome persons of the officers of our corps. We wore powder in
those days; and a regulation pigtail of seventeen inches, a brass helmet
surrounded by leopard-skin with a bearskin top and a horsetail feather,
gave the head a fierce and chivalrous appearance, which is far more
easily imagined than described.

Attired in this magnificent costume, I first presented myself before
Colonel Jowler. He was habited in a manner precisely similar, but not
being more than five feet in height, and weighing at least fifteen
stone, the dress he wore did not become him quite so much as slimmer and
taller men. Flanked by his tall Majors, Thrupp and Gutch, he looked like
a stumpy skittle-ball between two attenuated skittles. The plump little
Colonel received me with vast cordiality, and I speedily became a prime
favorite with himself and the other officers of the corps. Jowler was
the most hospitable of men; and gratifying my appetite and my love
together, I continually partook of his dinners, and feasted on the sweet
presence of Julia.

I can see now, what I would not and could not perceive in those early
days, that this Miss Jowler--on whom I had lavished my first and warmest
love, whom I had endowed with all perfection and purity--was no better
than a little impudent flirt, who played with my feelings, because
during the monotony of a sea-voyage she had no other toy to play with;
and who deserted others for me, and me for others, just as her whim
or her interest might guide her. She had not been three weeks at
head-quarters when half the regiment was in love with her. Each and all
of the candidates had some favor to boast of, or some encouraging hopes
on which to build. It was the scene of the "Samuel Snob" over again,
only heightened in interest by a number of duels. The following list
will give the reader a notion of some of them:--

1. Cornet Gahagan . . Ensign Hicks, of the Sappers and Miners. Hicks
received a ball in his j