take this opportunity
to--(another glass of ale, if you please)--to express, once for all,
before departing on a dangerous campaign"--(Julia turned pale)--"before
entering, I say, upon a war which may stretch in the dust my high-raised
hopes and me, to express my hopes while life still remains to me, and
to declare in the face of heaven, earth, and Colonel Jowler, that I love
you, Julia!" The Colonel, astonished, let fall a steel fork, which stuck
quivering for some minutes in the calf of my leg; but I heeded not the
paltry interruption. "Yes, by yon bright heaven," continued I, "I
love you, Julia! I respect my commander, I esteem your excellent and
beauteous mother; tell me, before I leave you, if I may hope for a
return of my affection. Say that you love me, and I will do such deeds
in this coming war as shall make you proud of the name of your Gahagan."

The old woman, as I delivered these touching words, stared, snapped, and
ground her teeth, like an enraged monkey. Julia was now red, now white;
the Colonel stretched forward, took the fork out of the calf of my leg,
wiped it, and then seized a bundle of letters which I had remarked by
his side.

"A cornet!" said he, in a voice choking with emotion; "a pitiful,
beggarly Irish cornet aspire to the hand of Julia Jowler! Gag, Gahagan,
are you mad, or laughing at us? Look at these letters, young man--at
these letters, I say--one hundred and twenty-four epistles from every
part of India (not including one from the Governor-General, and six from
his brother, Colonel Wellesley,)--one hundred and twenty-four proposals
for the hand of Miss Jowler! Cornet Gahagan," he continued, "I wish to
think well of you: you are the bravest, the most modest, and, perhaps,
the handsomest man in our corps; but you have not got a single rupee.
You ask me for Julia, and you do not possess even an anna!"--(Here the
old rogue grinned, as if he had made a capital pun).--"No, no," said he,
waxing good-natured; "Gagy, my boy, it is nonsense! Julia, love, retire
with your mamma; this silly young gentleman will remain and smoke a pipe
with me."

I took one; it was the bitterest chillum I ever smoked in my life.

*****

I am not going to give here an account of my military services; they
will appear in my great national autobiography, in forty volumes,
which I am now preparing for the press. I was with my regiment in all
Wellesley's brilliant campaigns; then taking dawk, I travelled across
the c