m this
lady's truest knight--her husband I hope one day to be. I am
commander, too, in this fort--the enemy is without it; another word of
mockery--another glance of scorn--and, by heaven, I will hurl every man
and woman from the battlements, a prey to the ruffianly Holkar!" This
quieted them. I am a man of my word, and none of them stirred or looked
disrespectfully from that moment.

It was now MY turn to make THEM look foolish. Mrs. Vandegobbleschroy
(whose unfailing appetite is pretty well known to every person who has
been in India) cried, "Well, Captain Gahagan, your ball has been so
pleasant, and the supper was despatched so long ago, that myself and the
ladies would be very glad of a little breakfast." And Mrs. Van giggled
as if she had made a very witty and reasonable speech. "Oh! breakfast,
breakfast by all means," said the rest; "we really are dying for a warm
cup of tea."

"Is it bohay tay or souchong tay that you'd like, ladies?" says I.

"Nonsense, you silly man; any tea you like," said fat Mrs. Van.

"What do you say, then, to some prime GUNPOWDER?" Of course they said it
was the very thing.

"And do you like hot rowls or cowld--muffins or crumpets--fresh
butter or salt? And you, gentlemen, what do you say to some ilegant
divvled-kidneys for yourselves, and just a trifle of grilled turkeys,
and a couple of hundthred new-laid eggs for the ladies?"

"Pooh, pooh! be it as you will, my dear fellow," answered they all.

"But stop," says I. "O ladies, O ladies: O gentlemen, gentlemen, that
you should ever have come to the quarters of Goliah Gahagan, and he been
without--"

"What?" said they, in a breath.

"Alas I alas! I have not got a single stick of chocolate in the whole
house."

"Well, well, we can do without it."

"Or a single pound of coffee."

"Never mind; let that pass too." (Mrs. Van and the rest were beginning
to look alarmed.)

"And about the kidneys--now I remember, the black divvles outside the
fort have seized upon all the sheep; and how are we to have kidneys
without them?" (Here there was a slight o--o--o!)

"And with regard to the milk and crame, it may be remarked that the
cows are likewise in pawn, and not a single drop can be had for money or
love: but we can beat up eggs, you know, in the tay, which will be just
as good."

"Oh! just as good."

"Only the divvle's in the luck, there's not a fresh egg to be had--no,
nor a fresh chicken," continued I, "nor a stale one eithe