(The same that overwhelmed the Huns),
And, what is more, we've got the Man;
With WINSTON riding in the van
I do not think there's any doubt
That we shall put the foe to rout,
And, scorning peace by compromise,
Annihilate the warble-flies.

In tranquil peace the gentle beeves
Shall chew their cud through summer eves;
No more shall that alarming warble
Affright the calm of heifer or bull,
And send them snorting round the croft
With eyes of fear and tails aloft.
Till every warble-fly be floored
Whitehall will _never_ sheathe the sword.

* * * * *

The Growth of Impropriety.

"Her hair is always exquisitely dressed, and her shoes in perfect
shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman."

_Daily Mirror._

* * * * *

"PROPOSED IMPROVEMENT OF A DANGEROUS CORONER."

_Headline in Provincial Paper._

The best plan, possibly, would be to get the jury to sit on him.

* * * * *

[Illustration: NEWSPAPER HEADINGS POPULARLY ILLUSTRATED.

"INFLUENZA MICROBE DISCOVERED AT A LONDON HOSPITAL."]

* * * * *

MRS. BLOGGINS'S STATEMENT.

It is not too much to say that bed-making circles in Cambridge have
been agitated to their utmost depths by the recent advent of some
hundreds of American youths who have come to pursue certain courses
of study within the University walls. Let us make one thing perfectly
clear. Bed-makers do not object to Americans as Americans, but this
avalanche of Transatlantics arrives on the very eve of the vacation,
just when the bed-makers are packing off the contingent of young Naval
officers who have been making things hum during the past term.

Persuaded that their too-brief holidays will be entirely absorbed in
attending to the Americans, the bed-makers urge with some justice that
they too are entitled to enjoy the beautiful things of this enchanting
world quite as much as miners and railway-men. We understand that
meetings of their Association are being held, and that the University
authorities are faced by a situation which is rapidly passing beyond
their control. Bed-makers are amongst the most loyal members of the
community, but they feel, as a prominent member of the profession
put it, that "the last camel breaks the straw's back," and they are
determined to uphold their immemorial rights.

We hav