e house-agents to find it for him, and,
since he considers the whole thing from the purely personal point of
view, their excuses for failing to do so are of no avail. The fact
that half a million other people want houses is nothing to him. He
ignores it. He believes that the house-agentry of the country has
hatched a gigantic conspiracy to keep him, Higgins, out of a home.

I have done _my_ best to put him out of his misery. After seeing the
poor wretch wear himself (and his boots) out in useless journeying to
and from the places where house-agents pretend to work I thought of a
scheme--not strictly original--for obtaining a house and presented it
to him without hope of reward.

"You are committing and error," I said.

"I shall commit a murder in a minute," he growled but, knowing what he
had suffered, I took no notice of the threat.

"Listen," I said; "all the habitable houses in England are occupied
and it will be years before the new ones are built. The painting of
"TO LET" boards has become a lost art. You are wasting your time in
looking for an _empty_ dwelling. Take my advice. Choose one that is
occupied, any one you fancy, and empty it."

At this point he interpolated an offensive expression with which I was
not familiar before I joined the army, but I overlooked that also.

"You think it is impossible, but you are wrong," I told him. "This
scheme is bound to succeed. All you have to do is to haunt the house.
You do not eject the tenant yourself. You conjure up a ghost to do it
for you."

"The devil!"

"No--not necessarily. An ordinary ghost will do."

"But, my dear good fool, how in Hades or out of it can I produce a
ghost?"

"Easily. By _suggestion_. That is the secret. This is an age of
suggestion. Doctors are curing patients by suggestion. Politicians
hypnotise the public by suggestion. And you can frighten the present
occupants out of your chosen home by suggestion. No real ghost
is required. Having selected the house you pay a call and lay
ground-bait, so to speak. You tell the tenant you are interested in
the place because you happen to know that at one time it was haunted.
You relate a gruesome tale of some mysterious tragedy that you say has
occurred there, and generally make your victim's flesh creep.

"He or she, a woman for choice, will probably laugh at first. Never
mind. Allow a few days for the idea to sink in, and then call again.
It is a hundred to one that you will hear that strang