"Cook; French; age 38; wages L25-L30 week."--_Morning Post._

* * * * *

TO THE DEATH.

[According to the papers, two Frenchmen have agreed to fight a
duel in aeroplanes.]

"Cauliflower!" shrieked Gaspard Volauvent across the little table in
the _estaminet_. His face bristled with rage.

"Serpent!" replied Jacques Rissolo, bristling with equal dexterity.

The two stout little men glared ferociously at each other. Then
Jacques picked up his glass and poured the wine of the country over
his friend's head.

"Drown, serpent!" he said magnificently. He beckoned to the waiter.
"Another bottle," he said. "My friend has drunk all this."

Gaspard removed the wine from his whiskers with the local paper and
leant over the table towards Jacques.

"This must be wiped out in blood," he said slowly. "You understand?"

"Perfectly," replied the other. "The only question is whose."

"Name your weapons," said Gaspard Volauvent grandly.

"Aeroplanes," replied Jacques Rissole after a moment's thought.

"Bah! I cannot fly."

"Then I win," said Jacques simply.

The other looked at him in astonishment.

"What! You fly?"

"No; but I can learn."

"Then I will learn too," said Gaspard with dignity. "We meet--in six
months?"

"Good." Jacques pointed to the ceiling. "Say three thousand feet up."

"Three thousand four hundred," said Gaspard for the sake of
disagreeing.

"After all, that is for our seconds to arrange. My friend Epinard of
the Roullens Aerodrome will act for me. He will also instruct me how
to bring serpents to the ground."

"With the idea of cleansing the sky of cauliflowers," said Gaspard, "I
shall proceed to the flying-ground at Dormancourt; Blanchaille, the
instructor there, will receive your friend."

He bowed and walked out.

Details were soon settled. On a date six months ahead the two
combatants would meet three thousand two hundred feet above the little
town in which they lived, and fight to the death. In the event of both
crashing, the one who crashed last would be deemed the victor. It was
Gaspard's second who insisted on this clause; Gaspard himself felt
that it did not matter.

The first month of instruction went by. At the end of it Jacques
Rissole had only one hope. It was that when he crashed he should crash
on some of Gaspard's family. Gaspard had no hope, but one consolation.
It was that no crash could involve his stomach, which he invaria