assments of a country cousin in the city, Artie proceeds, "Down at
the farm, he was the wise guy and I was the soft mark." "Mark" in the
sense of "butt" or "gull" is one of the commonest of slang words. When
Artie has cut out all rivals in the good graces of his Mamie, he puts it
thus, "There ain't nobody else in the one-two-sevens. They ain't even in
the 'also rans.'" When they have a lovers' quarrel he remarks, "Well, I
s'pose the other boy's fillin' all my dates." When he is asked whether
Mamie cycles, he replies, "Does she? She's a scorchalorum!" When he
disapproves of another young gentleman, this is how "he puts him next"
to the fact, as he himself would say--

"You're nothin' but a two-spot. You're the smallest thing in the
deck.... Chee-e-ese it! You can't do nothin' like that to me and
then come around afterwards and jolly me. Not in a million! I tell
you you're a two spot, and if you come into the same part o' the
town with me I'll change your face. There's only one way to get
back at you people.... If he don't keep off o' my route, there'll
be people walkin' slow behind him one o' these days.... But this
same two-spot's got a sister that can have my seat in the car any
time she comes in."

I plead guilty to an unholy relish for Chimmie's and Artie's racy
metaphors from the music-hall, the poker-table, and the "grip-car."[Y]
But it is to be noted that both these profound students of slang, Mr.
Townsend and Mr. Ade, like the creator of the delightful Dooley, express
themselves in pure and excellent English the moment they drop the mask
of their personage. This is very characteristic. Many educated Americans
take great delight, and even pride, in keeping abreast of the daily
developments of slang and patter; but this study does not in the least
impair their sense for, or their command of, good English. The idea that
the English language is degenerating in America is an absolutely
groundless illusion. Take them all round, the newspapers of the leading
American cities, in their editorial columns at any rate, are at least as
well written as the newspapers of London; and in magazines and books the
average level of literary accomplishment is certainly very high. There
are bad and vulgar writers on both sides of the Atlantic; but until the
beams are removed from our own eyes, we may safely trust the Americans
to attend to the motes in theirs.

POSTSCRIPT.--When this pap