aw, I conquered. The chiefs of
the Liberal Association had assembled to put me down. I was not put
down, and, amidst resounding cheers, I was declared the adopted
candidate. The room was crowded with friends. I never shook so many
dirty hands in my life. A second meeting, equally successful, confirmed
the first, and I at once plunged into the strife. I am not here to write
the history of an election, but to tell of my personal experiences, which
were certainly amusing. The first result of my candidature led to a
visit from an impecunious Scot at my suburban residence, who had read my
programme with infinite delight. He came to assure me of his best wishes
for my success. He was, unfortunately, not an elector, but he was a
Scotchman, as he was sure I was, and sadly in want of a loan, which he
was certain, from my Liberal sentiments, I would be the last to refuse to
a brother Scot. I had hardly got rid of him before I was called upon by
an agent of one of our great Radical societies--a society with which I
had something to do in its younger days before it had become great and
powerful, but which, like most people when they got up in the world,
forgot its humble friends. Ah, thought I, the society is going to give
me a little aid to show its appreciation of my ancient service, and I
felt pleased accordingly. Not a bit of it. Mr. P. was the collector of
the society, and he came to see what he could get out of me, assuring me
that almost all the Liberal candidates had responded to his appeal. "Do
you think I am going to buy the sanction of your society by a paltry
fiver?" was my reply; and the agent went away faster than he came. My
next visitor was a pleasant, plausible representative of some workmen's
league, to assure me of his support, and then, with abundance of promise,
he went his way, leaving me to look for a performance of which I saw no
sign. Then came the ladies. Would I give them an interview? Some of
them wanted to set me right on Temperance questions; others on topics on
which no right-minded woman should care to speak, and on which few would
speak were it not for the morbid, sensational, hysterical feeling which
often overcomes women who have no families of their own to look after, no
household duties to discharge, no home to adorn and purify. As I had no
town house, and did not care to invite the ladies to the smoking-room of
my club, I in every such case felt bound to deny myself the pleasure