hand--as if he had made it
self-evident that he knew a thing or two, and that he was not the sort of
man you could make a fool of. But heckling, as it is called, is a
science little understood. It is one of the fine arts. A candidate, for
instance, likes to make a statement when he replies to a question. The
questioner, if he is up to the mark, will gain a cheer, as he denounces
all attempts at evasion, and demands a straightforward, Yes or No. A man
asks you, for instance, Have you left off beating your wife yet? How are
you to answer Yes or No in such a case? As a rule, the questioners are
poor performers, and ask you what no one need ask who hears a candidate's
speech, or reads his programme. One thing came out very clearly--that
is, the terror platform orators, lay or clerical, have of any body
calling itself a Liberal Association, whether it is really that or not.
You can get any number of orators, on the condition that you have an
association at your back. But they dare not otherwise lend you a helping
hand. Liberalism is to have the stamp of Walbrook on it. It must be
such as the wirepullers approve. I said to a Radical M.P.: "I am
fighting a sham caucus." "Ain't they all shams?" was his reply. There
is a danger in this; even though there are still men left in this age of
mechanical organism who value the triumph of principles more even than
that of party.

My experience is anybody can get into Parliament if he will keep pegging
away and has plenty of money. Let him keep himself before the public--by
writing letters to the newspapers, and by putting in an appearance at all
public meetings, and by promising wholesale as to what he will do. If he
can bray like a bull, and has a face of brass, and has money or friends
who have it, he may be sure of success. As a rule, the best way is to
get yourself known to the public in connection with some new development
of philanthropic life. But a little money is a great help. Gold touches
hearts as nothing else can. The biggest Radical of two candidates
naturally prefers the richer. Men who can crowd into all meetings, and
shout "Buggins for ever," are useful allies, and men of that stamp have
little sympathy with the poor candidates. Once in Parliament you are
useless, at the beck and call of the whipper-in, a slave to party; but
you are an M.P. nevertheless, and may not call your soul your own.

CHAPTER XV.
HOW I WAS MADE A FOOL OF.

At leng