between the two souls in his
breast, and ashamed of his own weakness of will when so many others whom
he knew and knew of had thrown off the shackles of sensuality and
dedicated themselves to chastity and the higher life, he heard a voice
in the garden say, "Sume, lege" (take and read), and opening the Bible
at random, saw the text, "not in chambering and wantonness," etc., which
seemed directly sent to his address, and laid the inner storm to rest
forever. Augustine's psychological genius has given an account of the
trouble of having a divided self which has never been surpassed.

The new will which I began to have was not yet strong enough to
overcome that other will, strengthened by long indulgence. So
these two wills, one old, one new, one carnal, the other
spiritual, contended with each other and disturbed my soul. I
understood by my own experience what I had read, "Flesh lusteth
against spirit, and spirit against flesh." It was myself indeed
in both the wills, yet more myself in that which I approved in
myself than in that which I disapproved in myself. Yet it was
through myself that habit had obtained so fierce a mastery over
me, because I had willingly come whither I willed not. Still
bound to earth, I refused, O God, to fight on thy side, as much
afraid to be freed from all bonds as I ought to have feared
being trammeled by them.

Thus the thoughts by which I meditated upon thee were like the
efforts of one who would awake, but being overpowered with
sleepiness is soon asleep again. Often does a man when heavy
sleepiness is on his limbs defer to shake it off, and though
not approving it, encourage it; even so I was sure it was
better to surrender to thy love than to yield to my own lusts,
yet, though the former course convinced me, the latter pleased
and held me bound. There was naught in me to answer thy call,
"Awake, thou sleeper," but only drawling, drowsy words,
"Presently; yes, presently; wait a little while." But the
"presently" had no "present," and the "little while" grew long.
For I was afraid thou wouldst hear me too soon, and heal me at
once of my disease of lust, which I wished to satiate rather
than to see extinguished. With what lashes of words did I not
scourge my own soul. Yet it shrank back; it refused, though it
had no excuse to offer. I said within