ttle as possible of the hope of mankind is disappointed. Yet this
is a hope which cannot, in the very nature of things, be realized in its
perfection. The utmost that can be done by way of accommodation and
compromise has been performed without stint or limit. I am sure it will
not be necessary to remind you that you cannot throw off the habits of
the climate immediately, any more than you can throw off the habits of
the individual immediately. But however unpromising the immediate
outlook may be, I am the more happy to offer my observations on the
state of the weather for to-morrow because this is not a party issue.
What a delightful thought that is! Whatever the condition of sunshine or
precipitation vouchsafed to us, may I not hope that we shall all meet it
with quickened temper and purpose, happy in the thought that it is our
common fortune?

For to-morrow there is every prospect of heavy and continuous rain.

SYNTAX FOR CYNICS

A GRAMMAR OF THE FEMININE LANGUAGE

The feminine language consists of words placed one after another with
extreme rapidity, with intervals for matinees. The purpose of this
language is (1) to conceal, and (2) to induce, thought. Very often,
after the use of a deal of language, a thought will appear in the
speaker's mind. This, while desirable, is by no means necessary.

[Illustration]

THOUGHT cannot be defined, but it is instinctively recognized even by
those unaccustomed to it.

PARTS OF SPEECH: There are five parts of feminine speech--noun,
pronoun, adjective, verb and interjection.

THE NOUN is the name of something to wear, or somebody who furnishes
something to wear, or a place where something is to be worn. E.g., _hat,
husband, opera_. Feminine nouns are always singular.

THE PRONOUN is _I_.

ADJECTIVES: There are only four feminine adjectives--_adorable, cute,
sweet, horrid_. These are all modified on occasion by the adverb
_perfectly_.

THE VERBS are of two kinds--active and passive. Active verbs express
action; passive verbs express passion. All feminine verbs are irregular
and imperative.

INTERJECTIONS: There are two interjections--_Heavens_! and _Gracious_!
The masculine language is much richer in interjections.

DECLENSION: There are three ways of feminine declining, (1) to say No;
(2) to say Yes and mean No; (3) to say nothing.

CONJUGATION: This is what happens to a verb in the course of
conversation or shopping. A verb begins the day quite innocentl