in the neighborhood rushed to his assistance and
tried to lift him up with their teeth.

Then Uncle Peter ran home and told Aunt Martha that Cinders, our
bulldog, had tried to bite him.

The national emblem of the commuter is the lawn-mower.

The lawn-mower was invented originally for the purpose of giving
the lawn a quick shave, and because it can't talk like a barber it
makes a noise like the fall of Port Arthur.

I remember the first day I decided I would trim the vandyke beard
on our lawn. Of course I got all mine, and I got it good. The
result will always live in history side by side with the battle of
Gettysburg.

The lawn-mower was sleeping peacefully in the barn when I rushed in
and dragged it shriekingly from its slumbers.

Perhaps it was because I forgot to lather the lawn, but any way it
was the hardest shave I ever had anything to do with.

That lawn-mower began to complain so loudly that the neighbors for
miles around rushed to the rock pile and armed themselves for the
fray.

The committee of citizens attracted by the screams of the
lawn-mower came over to see if I was killing a member of the family
or only a distant relative.

When they saw me boxing the ears of a stubborn lawn-mower they said
my punishment was heavy enough, so they threw away the lynching
rope and left me at the post.

Clara J. came out on the porch and said, "John, perhaps that
lawn-mower would stop screaming if you used a little axle grease!"

"All right," I came back at her, "but it will take me an hour and a
half to find out which part of the lawnmower will fit the axle
grease."

Then I lifted the machinery up to examine its constitution and
by-laws, and about two and a half pounds of wrought iron fell off
and landed on my instep.

The wrought iron made good.

Then I tried to stand on the other foot, but I lost my balance and
fell on the lawn-mower's third rail.

I never was so mortified in my life as when that lawn-mower began
to saw its initials on my shin bones.

Every time I tried to get up I lost my balance, and every time I
lost my balance the lawn-mower would leap up in the air and fall on
my wish-bone.

When loving hands finally pulled us apart I was two doors and a
half below unconsciousness, while the lawnmower had recovered its
second wind and was wagging its tail with excitement.

After waiting for about ten minutes for me to come back in the
ring, the lawn-mower got impatient and began to bark