unch fell over a stage brace and
disgraced himself.

At 8:15 the orchestra leader came up to see why we didn't ring in
and Bunch told him to ring off.

I told Beethoven, or whatever his name was, to tune up and play
everything in sight till I gave him the warning.

At 8:20 Ma'moiselle Dodo waltzed out of her dressing room made up
to look like a cream puff.

"Where's Skinski?" I shrieked. "It's nearly 8:30 and he's keeping
that mob waiting. Isn't he going to show up!"

"You betcher sweet!" she gurgled, and passed on.

At 8:25 I rushed into Skinski's dressing room, put on a swift
makeup, dove into Skinski's fright wig, hid my face behind a false
moustache and goatee, and prepared to sell my life dearly.

"What are you going to do?" asked Bunch in wild alarm.

"I'm going out and pull a few mouldy tricks till Skinski gets
here," I answered heroically.

Then I gave the warning to the leader and rang up the curtain.

I was greeted by a harsh round of applause as I stepped out and I
could feel both knees get up and leave my legs.

I pulled myself together, picked up a pack of cards and began to do
things with the deck that no mortal man ever saw before, while
Bunch stood in the wings with his teeth chattering so loud they
sounded like a pedestal clog accompaniment.

Then I picked up an egg where Skinski had placed it on the tabaret
and started in to do something mysterious with it.

Just as I raised the egg to show it to the audience I got a flash
of the stage box on my right, and there, gazing curiously at me,
sat Peaches and Alice Grey and Aunt Martha.

I was so surprised I dropped the egg, and it lay at my feet in the
form of an omelet, while the house roared with joy.

[Illustration: I was so surprised I dropped the egg.]

At this moment Skinski bounded on the stage, bowed right and left,
and in five words he made it appear that I was only a comedy
curtain raiser.

Say! I never was so glad to see anybody in all my life.

I backed off the stage, and he pulled something on my exit that got
an awful laugh.

I didn't care. I was so delighted that Skinski was there that I
nearly hugged Dodo.

And he gave them their money's worth, all right. He flashed a line
of hot illusions that had them groggy in short order.

When the curtain finally fell Skinski was given an ovation, and
when it was all over we backed into his dressing-room and sat
looking at each other.

"That's the last," our star said,