e famous African pugilist.

* * * * *

THE BETTER PART.

[It is suggested that one result of army life will be a boom in
big-game hunting and visits to the world's most inaccessible
spots.]

He may be correct, the observer who says
Henceforth there'll be many a rover
Ambitious to go, in American phrase,
To the edge of beyond and some over;
But I, for my part, harbour other designs;
My wanderlust's wholly abated;
With travel on even luxurious lines
I'm more than sufficiently sated.

Having roamed into Egypt, according to plan,
Along with my fellows (a merry Co.),
Having carried a pack from Beersheba to Dan
And footslogged from Gaza to Jericho,
I'll not seek a fresh inaccessible spot
In order to slaughter a new brute;
To me inaccessible's anywhere not
To be found on a regular tube route.

For barbarous jungles or desolate streams
I don't give a tuppenny damlet;
For, candidly, London revisited seems
A very endurable hamlet;
Though others may find her excitements too mild
And sigh for things gladder or madder,
I'm fully resolved that the call of the wild
Shall find me as deaf as an adder.

* * * * *

"Trouser maker wanted; constant."--_Jewish Chronicle_.

A very desirable quality in a composer of continuations.

* * * * *

"STRANGE BIGAMY STORY.

"MUNITIONER SAID TO HAVE POSED AS A WEALTHY MAN."

_Evening News_.

The strange thing, of course, is that he should have needed to pose.

* * * * *

THE TRAGEDY OF THE SUPER-PATRIOT.

If you happen to be standing upon the platform of Ealing Common
station at about nine o'clock on a week-day morning you will see a
poor shrunken figure with a hunted expression upon his face come
creeping down the stairs. And as the train comes in he will slink into
a carriage and hide himself behind his newspaper and great tears will
come into his eyes as he reads the correspondence column and thinks of
the days when his own letters used to be published over the signatures
of "Volunteer," "Patriot," or "Special Constable of Two Years'
Service." And this sorry figure is Mr. Coaster, whose patriotism
proved his undoing.

Before he lived in Ealing he had a little cottage at Ramstairs, on the
Kentish coast. Every morning he would travel up to the City, and