"EVERY COMFORT ALBERT 'AD--INCLUDIN' WHITE MICE IN 'IS BEDROOM."]

* * * * *

PARADISE REGAINED.

"Lady tired of her clothes wishes to sell them all very
cheaply."--_Pioneer (Allahabad)._
* * * * *

A STAYER.

"In this race County Cricket was left at least eight lengths and
yet managed to cover up ground and was only beaten by half a
week, greatest surprise to all those who noticed it."----_Bombay
Chronicle_.

We gather that it was only noticed by a few spectators who happened to
be staying on over the week-end.

* * * * *

From a publisher's advertisement of Mr. CHESTERTON'S works:--

"A SHILLING FOR MY THOUGHTS, Fcap. 8vo. _2s_. net."

Is "G.K.C." also among the profiteers?

* * * * *

"Private Frank Edwards, Canadian Forces, a native of Berwick, has
been presented to the King as the oldest soldier on active service
with the B.E.F. He enlisted as a private in the 50's and went
right away to fight in France."--_Edinbro' Evening News_.

We calculate that he is entitled to at least fifty-nine blue chevrons
and one red.

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION: BATTALION INSPECTION IN FRANCE.

MEN ARE BEING DEMOBILISED FASTER THAN OFFICERS.]

* * * * *

"CLEAR THE GALLERIES."

In response to the growth of dissatisfaction at the continued closing
of certain picture galleries and museums, either wholly or in part,
the Government has appointed a special commission to investigate the
matter, under the presidency of Sir Tite Barnacle (fifth baronet). A
report of the first session follows, during which the cases for the
public and culture, and for the Government as against both, were fully
stated.

The first witness was Lord HARCOURT, who said that he had done all he
could, both in the House of Lords and in the columns of _The Times_,
where, he was glad to say, large type was given him, to bring the
Government to its senses on this matter. So long as the War was on, he
and his fellow-critics had refrained from interfering. But now that
it was over they demanded that the museums and galleries should be
cleared at once of flappers and typewriters and thrown open again to
their rightful users, the public.

Sir Buffer Stayte, K.C.B., O.B.E., speaking for his own Government
department,