t
the back of the church, and fifteen able-bodied women (eleven girls,
three old maids, and a widow) wanted to be 'good' to him.

"Miss Simmonds, one of the old maids, got hold of him first, and
commenced feeding him twice a day with beef-tea; and then the widow
boarded him with port wine and oysters. Later in the week others of the
party drifted in upon him, and wanted to cram him with jelly and
chickens.

"The old man couldn't understand it. He was accustomed to a small sack
of coals now and then, accompanied by a long lecture on his sins, and an
occasional bottle of dandelion tea. This sudden spurt on the part of
Providence puzzled him. He said nothing, however, but continued to take
in as much of everything as he could hold. At the end of a month he was
too fat to get through his own back door.

"The competition among the women-folk grew keener every day, and at last
the old man began to give himself airs, and to make the place hard for
them. He made them clean his cottage out, and cook his meals, and when
he was tired of having them about the house, he set them to work in the
garden.

"They grumbled a good deal, and there was a talk at one time of a sort of
a strike, but what could they do? He was the only pauper for miles
round, and knew it. He had the monopoly, and, like all monopolises, he
abused his position.

"He made them run errands. He sent them out to buy his 'baccy,' at their
own expense. On one occasion he sent Miss Simmonds out with a jug to get
his supper beer. She indignantly refused at first, but he told her that
if she gave him any of her stuck-up airs out she would go, and never come
into his house again. If she wouldn't do it there were plenty of others
who would. She knew it and went.

"They had been in the habit of reading to him--good books with an
elevating tendency. But now he put his foot down upon that sort of
thing. He said he didn't want Sunday-school rubbish at his time of life.
What he liked was something spicy. And he made them read him French
novels and seafaring tales, containing realistic language. And they
didn't have to skip anything either, or he'd know the reason why.

"He said he liked music, so a few of them clubbed together and bought him
a harmonium. Their idea was that they would sing hymns and play high-
class melodies, but it wasn't his. His idea was--'Keeping up the old
girl's birthday' and 'She winked the other eye,' with chorus and skirt
dan