thing to equal
the rapture of love. You will laugh at my extravagance; but, I assure
you, that a dozen times in as many months the longing has seized me to
die at thirty, while life was still untarnished, amidst the roses of
love, in the embrace of passion. To bid farewell to the feast at its
brightest, before disappointment has come, having lived in this sunshine
and celestial air, and well-nigh spent myself in love, not a leaf
dropped from my crown, not an illusion perished in my heart, what a
dream is there! Think what it would be to bear about a young heart in an
aged body, to see only cold, dumb faces around me, where even strangers
used to smile; to be a worthy matron! Can Hell have a worse torture?

On this very subject, in fact, Felipe and I have had our first quarrel.
I contended that he ought to have sufficient moral strength to kill me
in my sleep when I have reached thirty, so that I might pass from one
dream to another. The wretch declined. I threatened to leave him alone
in the world, and, poor child, he turned white as a sheet. My dear,
this distinguished statesman is neither more nor less than a baby. It is
incredible what youth and simplicity he contrived to hide away. Now that
I allow myself to think aloud with him, as I do with you, and have no
secrets from him, we are always giving each other surprises.

Dear Renee, Felipe and Louise, the pair of lovers, want to send a
present to the young mother. We would like to get something that would
give you pleasure, and we don't share the popular taste for surprises;
so tell me quite frankly, please, what you would like. It ought to be
something which would recall us to you in a pleasant way, something
which you will use every day, and which won't wear out with use. The
meal which with us is most cheerful and friendly is lunch, and therefore
the idea occurred to me of a special luncheon service, ornamented with
figures of babies. If you approve of this, let me know at once; for it
will have to be ordered immediately if we are to bring it. Paris artists
are gentlemen of far too much importance to be hurried. This will be my
offering to Lucina.

Farewell, dear nursing mother. May all a mother's delights be yours! I
await with impatience your first letter, which will tell me all about
it, I hope. Some of the details in your husband's letter went to my
heart. Poor Renee, a mother has a heavy price to pay. I will tell my
godson how dearly he must love you. No en