necessary to qualify for a
seat. You will come to Paris--there, isn't that enough? My father,
and the friends I shall have made by that time, will learn to know and
admire you; and if your father-in-law will agree to found a family, we
will get the title of Comte for Louis. That is something at least! And
we shall be together.

XXVIII. RENEE DE L'ESTORADE TO LOUISE DE MACUMER December.

My thrice happy Louise, your letter made me dizzy. For a few moments I
held it in my listless hands, while a tear or two sparkled on it in the
setting sun. I was alone beneath the small barren rock where I have had
a seat placed; far off, like a lance of steel, the Mediterranean shone.
The seat is shaded by aromatic shrubs, and I have had a very large
jessamine, some honeysuckle, and Spanish brooms transplanted there, so
that some day the rock will be entirely covered with climbing plants.
The wild vine has already taken root there. But winter draws near, and
all this greenery is faded like a piece of old tapestry. In this spot I
am never molested; it is understood that here I wish to be alone. It is
named Louise's seat--a proof, is it not, that even in solitude I am not
alone here?

If I tell you all these details, to you so paltry, and try to describe
the vision of green with which my prophetic gaze clothes this bare
rock--on which top some freak of nature has set up a magnificent parasol
pine--it is because in all this I have found an emblem to which I cling.

It was while your blessed lot was filling me with joy and--must I
confess it?--with bitter envy too, that I felt the first movement of my
child within, and this mystery of physical life reacted upon the inner
recesses of my soul. This indefinable sensation, which partakes of
the nature at once of a warning, a delight, a pain, a promise, and a
fulfilment; this joy, which is mine alone, unshared by mortal, this
wonder of wonders, has whispered to me that one day this rock shall be a
carpet of flowers, resounding to the merry laughter of children, that
I shall at last be blessed among women, and from me shall spring forth
fountains of life. Now I know what I have lived for! Thus the first
certainty of bearing within me another life brought healing to my
wounds. A joy that beggars description has crowned for me those long
days of sacrifice, in which Louis had already found his.

Sacrifice! I said to myself, how far does it excel passion! What
pleasure has roots so deep as