fire-eaters;
Somewhere it seems the problematic PETERS
Stirs troubles still in toiling for the Teuton.
FERGUSSON'S diplomatically mute on
The matter, but it scarcely seems chimerical
To say these rivalries are mostly _spherical_.
Delimitation's talked of, and indeed
'Tis needful, in the face of grabbing greed.
Perhaps a pair of geometric compasses
Might stop these rival rumpusses;
For in these "Spheres of Influence" _Punch_ hears
Anything but the "Music of the Spheres."

* * * * *

INTERESTING NOVELTY.

LADY MAIDSTONE announces "an 8.30 o'clock" (to adapt the Whistlerian
title when he did his "ten-and-sixpenny o'clock") at the Westminster
Town Hall, for April 26, for the production of an entirely new play,
entitled _Anne Tigony_, by a new and original dramatic authoress
of the name of SOPHIE KLEES. It is, we understand, a domestic drama
illustrative of Greek life. The great sensation scene is of course
"when Greek meets Greek." This tragedy, we are informed, "refers to
what, in the Greek way of thinking, are the sacred rites of the
dead, and the solemn importance of burial." It is, therefore, an
Anti-Cremation Society drama. The _tableaux_ are by Mrs. JOPLING,
the conductor is Mr. BARNEY, and the leading _role_ of _Anne Tigony_
herself is to be played by my Lady MAIDSTONE. We wish SOPHIE KLEES
every possible success, and a big and glorious future. Beware the
Cremationists!--they might try to wreck the piece.

* * * * *

A RUM SUBJECT.--The Budget.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT.

"OH YES, SIR GUS, MY HUSBAND'S AS WELL AS EVER, THANK YOU, AND HARD AT
WORK. I'VE HAD TO COPY OUT HIS PAMPHLET ON BI-METALLISM _THREE TIMES_,
HE ALTERS IT SO! AH, IT'S NO SINECURE TO BE MARRIED TO A MAN OF
GENIUS. I OFTEN ENVY YOUR DEAR WIFE!"]

* * * * *

THE TIPPLER'S TRIUMPH.

(_See Mr. Goschen's Budget Speech._)

ALAS! we deemed him purposeless; the vinous smile that flickered up
Across his glowing countenance was meaningless to us.
We only saw a drunkard who addressed us, as he liquored up,
Not always too politely, and in words that sounded thus.
"All ri' you needn' 'shult me, I'm a berrer man than you;
Mr. GOSCHEN couldn' shpare me as a shource of revenue."

And when we led him home at night we scorned the foolish antic all
That flung