ES RUNCIMAN are likely to prove veritable pieces
de resistance. A cut from the joint in this instance is accordingly
strongly recommended.

_The Colonial Year-Book for 1890_ supplies a want that has long been
felt by Britons in every quarter of the globe. Mr. TRENDELL, C.M.G.,
the author of this interesting work, deserves well of the Empire.

BARON DE BOOK-WORMS & CO.

* * * * *

A FABLE FOR FANATICS.

THERE was a stream, now fast, now slow,
But given at times to overflow;
A freakishness that played strange pranks
With the poor dwellers on its banks.
There came two engineers. One said,
"Embank it!" Wagging a wise head
In the austere impressive way
Of dogmatists, as who should say,
"If there's an Oracle, _I_ am it."
The other answered, "Nonsense! _Dam it!_"
They did, and stood with hope elate,
But presently there came a "spate;"
The swollen torrent, swift and muddied,
All the surrounding country flooded,
Put a prompt stop to prosperous tillage,
Drowned fifty folk, and swamped a village.

MORAL.

Some men's sole notion of improvement
Is simply to arrest all movement.
This craving crass the spirit stirs
Of Tsars and of Teetotallers,
Eight-Hour fanatics, and the like,
Friends of the dungeon and the dyke.
"_Dam it!_" That is their counsel's staple.
(Mark, LUBBOCK; also, BLUNDELL-MAPLE!)

* * * * *

NEWS FROM AIX-LES-BAINS.--"_Fireworks were let off._" As mercy is the
Royal prerogative, we are glad to learn that it was exercised in the
case of FIREWORKS on the birthday of the Princess BEATRICE.

* * * * *

BY ORDER OF F.M. COMMANDING-IN-CHIEF, PUNCH.--The Grand Military
Exhibition, Chelsea Hospital, to be known as "The Sodgeries."

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, April 14._--Boys came back after Easter
Monday; Head Master punctually in his place.

"Yes, dear TOBY," he said, as I respectfully shook his hand. "I am
nothing if not a man of business. Done my duty to the country round
Henley; now come up to do my duty in town at Westminster."

Not all the boys here. Some, including Oldest Boy, extending
their holiday. Prince ARTHUR not turned up yet, nor GRANDOLPH, nor
CHAMBERLAIN. Wide empty space on Front Opposition Bench where HARCOURT
wont to sit. A do