their accompanying New York State cheese. In the Auge
Valley of France, farmers also drink homemade cider with their own
Augelot, a piquant kind of Pont l'Eveque.

The English sip pear cider (perry) with almost any British cheese.
Milk would seem to be redundant, but Sage cheese and buttermilk do go
well together.

Wine and cheese have other things in common. Some wines and some
cheeses are aged in caves, and there are vintage cheeses no less than
vintage wines, as is the case with Stilton.

[Illustration]

_Chapter Twelve_

Lazy Lou

Once, so goes the sad story, there was a cheesemonger unworthy of his
heritage. He exported a shipload of inferior "Swiss" made somewhere
in the U.S.A. Bad to begin with, it had worsened on the voyage.
Rejected by the health authorities on the other side, it was shipped
back, reaching home in the unhappy condition known as "cracked." To
cut his losses the rascally cheesemonger had his cargo ground up and
its flavor disguised with hot peppers and chili sauce. Thus there
came into being the abortion known as the "cheese spread."

The cheese spread or "food" and its cousin, the processed cheese, are
handy, cheap and nasty. They are available everywhere and some people
even like them. So any cheese book is bound to take formal notice of
their existence. I have done so--and now, an unfond farewell to them.

My academic cheese education began at the University of Wisconsin in
1904. I grew up with our great Midwest industry; I have read with
profit hundreds of pamphlets put out by the learned Aggies of my Alma
Mater. Mostly they treat of honest, natural cheeses: the making,
keeping and enjoying of authentic Longhorn Cheddars, short Bricks and
naturalized Limburgers.

At the School of Agriculture the students still, I am told, keep
their hand in by studying the classical layout on a cheese board. One
booklet recommends the following for freshman contemplation:

CARAWAY BRICK SELECT BRICK EDAM
WISCONSIN SWISS LONGHORN AMERICAN SHEFFORD

These six sturdy samples of Wisconsin's best will stimulate any
amount of classroom discussion. Does the Edam go better with
German-American black bread or with Swedish Ry-Krisp? To butter or
not to butter? And if to butter, with which cheese? Salt or sweet?
How close do we come to the excellence of the genuine Alpine Swiss?
Primary school stuff, but not unworthy of thought.

Pass on down the years. You are n