me, that there might be no umbrage given
to the queen's party. I was forced to comply with this, though greatly
against my will; for I was very jealous that absence might change the
king's mind. I retired again with my father to his country-seat, but
it had no longer those charms for me which I once enjoyed there; for my
mind was now too much taken up with ambition to make room for any other
thoughts. During my stay here, my royal lover often sent gentlemen to
me with messages and letters, which I always answered in the manner I
thought would best bring about my designs, which were to come back again
to court. In all the letters that passed between us there was something
so kingly and commanding in his, and so deceitful and submissive in
mine, that I sometimes could not help reflecting on the difference
betwixt this correspondence and that with lord Percy; yet I was so
pressed forward by the desire of a crown, I could not think of turning
back. In all I wrote I continually praised his resolution of letting me
be at a distance from him, since at this time it conduced indeed to my
honor; but, what was of ten times more weight with me, I thought it was
necessary for his; and I would sooner suffer anything in the world than
be any means of hurt to him, either in his interest or reputation.
I always gave some hints of ill health, with some reflections how
necessary the peace of the mind was to that of the body. By these means
I brought him to recall me again by the most absolute command, which I,
for a little time, artfully delayed (for I knew the impatience of his
temper would not bear any contradictions), till he made my father in
a manner force me to what I most wished, with the utmost appearance of
reluctance on my side. When I had gained this point I began to think
which way I could separate the king from the queen, for hitherto they
lived in the same house. The lady Mary, the queen's daughter, being
then about sixteen, I sought for emissaries of her own age that I could
confide in, to instill into her mind disrespectful thoughts of her
father, and make a jest of the tenderness of his conscience about the
divorce. I knew she had naturally strong passions, and that young people
of that age are apt to think those that pretend to be their friends are
really so, and only speak their minds freely. I afterwards contrived to
have every word she spoke of him carried to the king, who took it all
as I could wish, and fancied those