things did not come at first from the
young lady, but from her mother. He would often talk of it to me, and
I agreed with him in his sentiments; but then, as a great proof of my
goodness, I always endeavored to excuse her, by saying a lady so long
time used to be a royal queen might naturally be a little exasperated
with those she fancied would throw her from that station she so justly
deserved. By these sort of plots I found the way to make the king angry
with the queen; for nothing is easier than to make a man angry with a
woman he wants to be rid of, and who stands in the way between him
and his pleasure; so that now the king, on the pretense of the queen's
obstinacy in a point where his conscience was so tenderly concerned,
parted with her. Everything was now plain before me; I had nothing
farther to do but to let the king alone to his own desires; and I had no
reason to fear, since they had carried him so far, but that they would
urge him on to do everything I aimed at. I was created marchioness of
Pembroke. This dignity sat very easy on me; for the thoughts of a much
higher title took from me all feeling of this; and I looked upon being
a marchioness as a trifle, not that I saw the bauble in its true light,
but because it fell short of what I had figured to myself I should soon
obtain. The king's desires grew very impatient, and it was not long
before I was privately married to him. I was no sooner his wife than I
found all the queen come upon me; I felt myself conscious of royalty,
and even the faces of my most intimate acquaintance seemed to me to be
quite strange. I hardly knew them: height had turned my head, and I was
like a man placed on a monument, to whose sight all creatures at a great
distance below him appear like so many little pigmies crawling about
on the earth; and the prospect so greatly delighted me, that I did not
presently consider that in both cases descending a few steps erected
by human hands would place us in the number of those very pigmies who
appeared so despicable. Our marriage was kept private for some time, for
it was not thought proper to make it public (the affair of the divorce
not being finished) till the birth of my daughter Elizabeth made it
necessary. But all who saw me knew it; for my manner of speaking and
acting was so much changed with my station, that all around me plainly
perceived I was sure I was a queen. While it was a secret I had yet
something to wish for; I could not b