ly than it could be hidden by night and the forest
shadows. What horrible thing, what calamity that frightened my soul to
think of, had fallen on me? The revulsion of feeling, the unspeakable
horror, the remorse, was more than I could bear. I started up with a cry
of anguish, and would have slain myself to escape at that moment; but
Nature is not always and utterly cruel, and on this occasion she came to
my aid. Consciousness forsook me, and I lived not again until the light
of early morning was in the east; then found myself lying on the wet
herbage--wet with rain that had lately fallen. My physical misery was
now so great that it prevented me from dwelling on the scenes witnessed
on the previous evening. Nature was again merciful in this. I only
remembered that it was necessary to hide myself, in case the Indians
should be still in the neighbourhood and pay the wood a visit. Slowly
and painfully I crept away into the forest, and there sat for several
hours, scarcely thinking at all, in a half-stupefied condition. At noon
the sun shone out and dried the wood. I felt no hunger, only a
vague sense of bodily misery, and with it the fear that if I left my
hiding-place I might meet some human creature face to face. This fear
prevented me from stirring until the twilight came, when I crept forth
and made my way to the border of the forest, to spend the night there.
Whether sleep visited me during the dark hours or not I cannot say:
day and night my condition seemed the same; I experienced only a dull
sensation of utter misery which seemed in spirit and flesh alike,
an inability to think clearly, or for more than a few moments
consecutively, about anything. Scenes in which I had been principal
actor came and went, as in a dream when the will slumbers: now with
devilish ingenuity and persistence I was working on Managa's mind; now
standing motionless in the forest listening for that sweet, mysterious
melody; now staring aghast at old Cla-cla's wide-open glassy eyes and
white hair dabbled in blood; then suddenly, in the cave at Riolama, I
was fondly watching the slow return of life and colour to Rima's still
face.

When morning came again, I felt so weak that a vague fear of sinking
down and dying of hunger at last roused me and sent me forth in quest
of food. I moved slowly and my eyes were dim to see, but I knew so well
where to seek for small morsels--small edible roots and leaf-stalks,
berries, and drops of congealed gum--t