or submission, had followed on
that furious revolt against the unknown being, personal or not, that is
behind nature, in whose existence I believed. I was still in revolt: I
would hate Him, and show my hatred by being like Him, as He appears to
us reflected in that mirror of Nature. Had He given me good gifts--the
sense of right and wrong and sweet humanity? The beautiful sacred flower
He had caused to grow in me I would crush ruthlessly; its beauty and
fragrance and grace would be dead for ever; there was nothing evil,
nothing cruel and contrary to my nature, that I would not be guilty of,
glorying in my guilt. This was not the temper of a few days: I remained
for close upon two months at Managa's village, never repenting nor
desisting in my efforts to induce the Indians to join me in that most
barbarous adventure on which my heart was set.

I succeeded in the end; it would have been strange if I had not. The
horrible details need not be given. Managa did not wait for his enemy,
but fell on him unexpectedly, an hour after nightfall in his own
village. If I had really been insane during those two months, if some
cloud had been on me, some demoniacal force dragging me on, the cloud
and insanity vanished and the constraint was over in one moment, when
that hellish enterprise was completed. It was the sight of an old woman,
lying where she had been struck down, the fire of the blazing house
lighting her wide-open glassy eyes and white hair dabbled in blood,
which suddenly, as by a miracle, wrought this change in my brain. For
they were all dead at last, old and young, all who had lighted the fire
round that great green tree in which Rima had taken refuge, who had
danced round the blaze, shouting: "Burn! burn!"

At the moment my glance fell on that prostrate form I paused and stood
still, trembling like a person struck with a sudden pang in the heart,
who thinks that his last moment has come to him unawares. After a
while I slunk away out of the great circle of firelight into the thick
darkness beyond. Instinctively I turned towards the forests across the
savannah--my forest again; and fled away from the noise and the sight
of flames, never pausing until I found myself within the black shadow
of the trees. Into the deeper blackness of the interior I dared not
venture; on the border I paused to ask myself what I did there alone in
the night-time. Sitting down, I covered my face with my hands as if to
hide it more effectual