e's Chocolate-house, May 1._

The world is so overgrown with singularities in behaviour, and method of
living, that I have no sooner laid before mankind the absurdity of one
species of men, but there starts up to my view some new sect of
impertinents that had before escaped notice. This afternoon, as I was
talking with fine Mrs. Sprightly's porter, and desiring admittance upon
an extraordinary occasion, it was my fate to be spied by Tom Modely
riding by in his chariot. He did me the honour to stop, and asked what I
did there of a Monday? I answered that I had business of importance,
which I wanted to communicate to the lady of the house. Tom is one of
those fools who look upon knowledge of the fashion to be the only
liberal science; and was so rough as to tell me, that a well-bred man
would as soon call upon a lady (who keeps a day) at midnight, as on any
day but that on which she professes being at home. There are rules and
decorums which are never to be transgressed by those who understand the
world; and he who offends in this kind, ought not to take it ill if he
is turned away, even when he sees the person look out at her window whom
he inquires for. "Nay," said he, "my Lady Dimple is so positive in this
rule, that she takes it for a piece of good breeding and distinction to
deny herself with her own mouth. Mrs. Comma,[240] the great scholar,
insists upon it; and I myself have heard her assert, that a lord's
porter, or a lady's woman, cannot be said to lie in that case, because
they act by instruction; and their words are no more their own, than
those of a puppet."

He was going on with this ribaldry, when on a sudden he looked on his
watch, and said, he had twenty visits to make, and drove away without
further ceremony. I was then at leisure to reflect upon the tasteless
manner of life, which a set of idle fellows lead in this town, and spend
youth itself with less spirit, than other men do their old age. These
expletives in human society, though they are in themselves wholly
insignificant, become of some consideration when they are mixed with
others. I am very much at a loss how to define, or under what character,
distinction, or denomination, to place them, except you give me leave to
call them the Order of the Insipids. This order is in its extent like
that of the Jesuits, and you see of them in every way of life, and in
every profession. Tom Modely has long appeared to me at the head of this
species. By being h