rt ourselves for being dirty to the ankles, by
laughing at his figure and appearance who overlooks us. I must confess,
were it not for the solid injustice of the thing, there is nothing could
afford a discerning eye greater occasion for mirth, than this licentious
huddle of qualities and characters in the equipages about this town. The
overseers of the highway and constables have so little skill or power to
rectify this matter, that you may often see the equipage of a fellow
whom all the town knows to deserve hanging, make a stop that shall
interrupt the Lord High Chancellor and all the judges on their way to
Westminster.

For the better understanding of things and persons in this general
confusion, I have given directions to all the coachmakers and
coach-painters in town, to bring me in lists of their several customers;
and doubt not, but with comparing the orders of each man, in the placing
his arms on the doors of his chariot, as well as the words, devices and
ciphers to be fixed upon them, to make a collection which shall let us
into the nature, if not the history, of mankind, more usefully than the
curiosities of any medallist in Europe.

But this evil of vanity in our figure, with many, many others, proceeds
from a certain gaiety of heart, which has crept into men's very thoughts
and complexions. The passions and adventures of heroes, when they enter
the lists for the tournament in romances, are not more easily
distinguishable by their palfreys and their armour, than the secret
springs and affections of the several pretenders to show amongst us are
known by their equipages in ordinary life. The young bridegroom with his
gilded cupids, and winged angels, has some excuse in the joy of his
heart to launch out into something that may be significant of his
present happiness: but to see men, for no reason upon earth but that
they are rich, ascend triumphant chariots, and ride through the people,
has at the bottom nothing else in it but an insolent transport, arising
only from the distinction of fortune.

It is therefore high time that I call in such coaches as are in their
embellishments improper for the character of their owners. But if I find
I am not obeyed herein, and that I cannot pull down these equipages
already erected, I shall take upon me to prevent the growth of this evil
for the future, by inquiring into the pretensions of the persons who
shall hereafter attempt to make public entries with ornaments and
d