ollowing epistle seems to want the quickest despatch, because a
lady is every moment offended till it is answered; which is best done by
letting the offender see in her own letter how tender she is of calling
him so:

"SIR,

"This comes from a relation of yours, though unknown to you, who,
besides the tie of consanguinity, has some value for you on the
account of your lucubrations, those being designed to refine our
conversation, as well as cultivate our minds. I humbly beg the
favour of you, in one of your _Tatlers_ (after what manner you
please), to correct a particular friend of mine, for an indecorum
he is guilty of in discourse, of calling his acquaintance, when he
speaks of them, 'Madam': as for example, my cousin Jenny Distaff,
'Madam Distaff'; which I am sure you are sensible is very unpolite,
and 'tis what makes me often uneasy for him, though I cannot tell
him of it myself, which makes me guilty of this presumption, that I
depend upon your goodness to excuse; and I do assure you, the
gentleman will mind your reprehension, for he is, as I am,

"Sir,
"Your most humble
"Servant and Cousin,
"DOROTHY DRUMSTICK.

"I write this in a thin under-petticoat,[129] and never did or will
wear a farthingale."

I had no sooner read the just complaint of Mrs. Drumstick, but I
received an urgent one from another of the fair sex, upon faults of more
pernicious consequence:

"MR. BICKERSTAFF,

"Observing that you are entered into a correspondence with
Pasquin,[130] who is, I suppose, a Roman Catholic, I beg of you to
forbear giving him any account of our religion, or manners, till
you have rooted out certain misbehaviours even in our churches;
among others, that of bowing, saluting, taking snuff, and other
gestures. Lady Autumn made me a very low curtsy the other day from
the next pew, and, with the most courtly air imaginable, called
herself 'Miserable sinner.' Her niece soon after, in saying,
'Forgive us our trespasses,' curtsied with a gloating look at my
brother. He returned it, opening his snuff-box and repeating yet a
more solemn expression. I beg of you, good Mr. Censor, not to tell
Pasq