t: in short, I have had a very excellent letter of yours in
my left waistcoat-pocket this fortnight; is that letter answered? you
say: Oh! let the reply to this question be buried in the bottom of the
Red Sea, where I hope no future army will ever disturb it; or let it be
inserted in the third volume of Donaldson's Collection, where it will
never be found, as the book will never be opened. What would I not do to
gain your pardon? I would even swear that black was white; that's to
say, I would praise the fairness of your complexion.

By that smile which irradiates your countenance, like a gleam of the
moon through the black clouds of the south; by the melting of that
pomatum which gives your hair a gloss, like the first beaming of a new
suit of regimentals on an assembly night, when twenty fiddlers sweat; by
the grandeur of your pinchbeck buckles; by the solemnity of your small
nose; by the blue expended in washing your shirts; by the rotundity of
your Bath great-coat; by the well-polished key of your portmanteau; by
the tag of your shoe; by the tongue of your buckle; by your tailor's
bill; by the last kiss of Miss C----; by the first guinea you ever had
in your possession; and chiefly by all the nonsense you have just read,
let the kneeling Captain find favour in your eyes, and then, my Ode to
Goodnature shall be inscribed to you, while your Ode to Ingratitude
(which, I suppose, is finished) shall be burnt.

I was, as you imagine, very much surprised to see A---- here; I noted
him, according to your direction, with a critical eye; like a gentleman
in a line which you may remember I made on the Castle-hill, he seemed to
have taken the Tower of London for his bride; every feature and every
limb was changed wonderfully; his nose resembled Westminster-Bridge; his
cheeks were like Bloomsbury-Square; his high forehead like
Constitution-Hill; his chin like China-Row; his tongue and his teeth
looked like Almack's in Pall-Mall; his lips like the Shakespeare's Head;
his fists like Hockley-in-the-Hole; his ears like the Opera-House; his
eyes like a harlequin entertainment; his stomach was like Craven-Street;
his chest like the trunk-maker's in the corner of St. Paul's-Church-yard;
the calf of his leg like Leadenhall-market; his pulse like the
Green-market in Covent-Garden; his neck like Tyburn; and his gait like
Newgate; his navel like Fleet-street; and his lungs and his bladder were
like Blowbladder-street: everything about him s