unge into
cold water for the good of their souls, was holding forth against all
Doctors, secular and sacred, and very fiercely against Sprightly's
brotherhood. Doctor Lobelia's text was found somewhere in Pope
Campbell's _New_ Testament; as it suited the following discourse
introduced with the usual inspired preface:

DOCTOR LOBELIA'S SERMON

"Well, I never rub'd my back agin a collige, nor git no sheepskin, and
allow the Apostuls didn't nither. Did anybody ever hear of Peter and
Poll a-goin' to them new-fangled places and gitten skins to preach by?
No, sirs, I allow not; no, sirs, we don't pretend to loguk--this here
_new_ testament's sheepskin enough for me. And don't Prisbeteruns and
tother baby sprinklurs have reskorse to loguk and skins to show how them
what's emerz'd didn't go down into the water and come up agin? And as to
Sprightly's preachurs, don't they dress like big-bugs, and go ridin
about the Purchis on hunder-dollur hossis, a-spunginin on poor
priest-riden folks and a-eatin fried chickin fixins so powerful fast
that chickins has got skerse in these diggins; and then what ain't fried
makes tracks and hides when they sees them a-comin?

"But, dear bruthrun, we don't want store cloth and yaller buttins, and
fat hossis and chickin fixins, and the like doins--no, sirs! we only
wants your souls--we only wants beleevur's baptism--we wants
prim--prim--yes, Apostul's Christianity, the Christianity of Christ and
them times, when Christians _was_ Christians, and tuk up thare cross and
went down into the water, and was buried in the gineine sort of baptism
by emerzhin. That's all we wants; and I hope all's convinced that's the
true way--and so let all come right out from among them and git
beleevur's baptism; and so now if any brothur wants to say a word I'm
done, and I'll make way for him to preach."

* * * * *

Anticipating this common invitation, our friend Sprightly, indignant at
this unprovoked attack of Doctor Lobelia, had, in order to disguise
himself, exchanged his clerical garb for a friend's blue coatee
bedizzened with metal buttons; and also had erected a very tasteful and
sharp coxcomb on his head, out of hair usually reposing sleek and quiet
in the most saint-like decorum; and then, at the bid from the
pulpit-stump, out stepped Mr. Sprightly from the opposite spice-wood
grove, and advanced with a step so smirky and dandyish as to create
universal amazement and whis