be paid for the seats. The performance was to take place in a very
large room attached to the inn, which, previous to the decadence of the
town, had been used as an assembly-room. A platform was erected on the
outside, on which were placed the musicians, and where we all
occasionally made our appearance in our splendid dresses to attract the
wonder of the people. There we strutted up and down, all but poor little
Fleta, who appeared to shrink at the display from intuitive modesty.
When the music ceased, a smart parley between Melchior and me, and
Philotas, and Timothy, as the two fools, would take place; and Melchior
declared, after the performance was over, that we conducted ourselves to
admiration.

"Pray, Mr Philotas, do me the favour to tell me how many people you
think are now present?" said Melchior to Num, in an imperative voice.

"I don't know," said Num, looking up with his idiotical, melancholy
face.

"Ha! ha! ha'" roared the crowd at Num's stupid answer.

"The fellow's a fool'" said Melchior, to the gaping audience.

"Well, then, if he can't tell, perhaps you may, Mr Dionysius," said I,
addressing Tim.

"How many, sir? Do you want to know exactly and directly?"

"Yes, sir, immediately."

"Without counting, sir?"

"Yes, sir, without counting."

"Well then, sir, I will tell, and make no mistake; there's _exactly as
many again as half_."

"Ha! ha! ha!" from the crowd.

"That won't do, sir. How many may be the half?"

"How many may be the half? Do you know yourself, sir?"

"Yes, sir, to be sure I do."

"Then there's no occasion for me to tell you."

"Ha! ha! ha!"

"Well then, sir," continued Melchior to Philotas, "perhaps you'll tell
how many ladies and gentlemen we may expect to honour us with their
company to-night."

"How many, sir?"

"Yes, sir, how many."

"I'm sure I don't know," said Num, after a pause.

"Positively you are the greatest fool I ever met with," said Melchior.

"Well, he does act the fool as natural as life," observed the crowd.
"What a stupid face he does put on!"

"Perhaps you will be able to answer that question, Mr Dionysius," said I
to Tim.

"Yes, sir, I know exactly."

"Well, sir, let's hear."

"In the first place, all the pretty women will come, and all the ugly
ones stay away; and as for the men, all those who have got any money
will be certain to come; those who haven't, poor devils, must stay
outside."

"Suppose, sir, you make a bow to the ladie