ight of Greatness, both Militant and
Triumphant (for that was the state then of the _English_ and _French_
Courts) yet all this was so far from altering my Opinion, that it
oncly added the confirmation of Reason to that which was before but
Natural Inclination. I saw plainly all the Paint of that kind of Life,
the nearer I came to it; and that Beauty which I did not fall in Love
with, when, for ought I knew, it was reall, was not like to bewitch,
or intice me, when I saw that it was Adulterate. I met with several
great Persons, whom I liked very well, but could not perceive that
any part of their Greatness was to be liked or desired, no more then
I would be glad, or content to be in a Storm, though I saw many Ships
which rid safely and bravely in it: A storm would not agree with my
stomach, if it did with my Courage. Though I was in a croud of as good
company as could be found any where, though I was in business of great
and honourable trust, though I eate at the best Table, and enjoyed the
best conveniences for present subsistance that ought to be desired
by a man of my condition in banishment and publick distresses, yet I
could not abstain from renewing my old School-boys Wish in a Copy of
Verses to the same effect.

Well then; I now do plainly see
This busie World and I shall ne're agree, &c.

And I never then proposed to my self any other advantage from His
Majesties Happy Restoration, but the getting into some moderately
convenient Retreat in the Country, which I thought in that case I
might easily have compassed, as well as some others, who[2] with
no greater probabilities or pretences have arrived to extraordinary
fortunes: But I had before written a shrewd Prophesie against my
self, and I think _Apollo_ inspired me in the Truth, though not in the
Elegance of it.

Thou, neither great at Court nor in the War,
Nor at th' Exchange shal't be, nor at the wrangling Barr;
Content thy self with the small barren praise
Which neglected Verse does raise, &c.

However by the failing of the Forces which I had expected, I did not
quit the Design which I had resolved on, I cast my self into it _A
Corps perdu_, without making capitulations, or taking counsel of
Fortune. But God laughs at a Man, who sayes to his Soul, _Take thy
ease_: I met presently not onely with many little encumbrances and
impediments, but with so much sickness (a new misfortune to me) as
would have spoiled the happiness of an Emperour as we