herche_.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

How do you come here?

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Fan brought me.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

How dare she?

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

'Ow dare she? H'm! Fan, I 'ope and trust not a coolness between you and
Lady T.

[LADY TWOMBLEY sinks into a chair.]

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

She was dying to see you--there's no pleasing her.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Dyin' to see me! Flattered--flattered. [He sits in close proximity to
LADY TWOMBLEY.] Deah Lady T, you and I and nobody by, eh? Excuse my
humour. 'Ow can I 'ave the honour of servin' you? Don't 'esitate, Lady
T, don't 'esitate.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I only wanted--to beg you--to rid me of that viper.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

That's going a little too far!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

There _is_ a coolness--a triflin', temporary coolness. Fan, be
reasonable--Lady T, be forgivin'. Kiss and be friends.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I know that you've got me--what's the expression?--on something or
another.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I 'ope "toast" is not the word you requiah, Lady Twombley?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh, yes, on toast.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Oh, Lady T.! Lady T.!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I know that if I can't meet those awful Bills you can drag my name into
the papers, and set all London grinning for a month.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Oh! Oh, Fan, is that my way of doin' business?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

If you're a nice, honest man--as you look--you'll take her away, and
never, either of you, show your ugl--show your faces here again.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Ah, Lady T., now we come to the aim and object of the mornin' call which
I have the 'appiness of making on you. Fan, you haven't explained to
Lady T. You really must cut in.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

I shan't. Explain yourself.

[LEBANON rises, replacing his chair.]

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

My dear Lady T., the long and the short of it is that Fan and I have
considerable social ambition.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

You too! Not _you_!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

And why not? Fanny, cut in!

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

Go on, Jo dear.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady Twombley, it has been the desiah of Fan and self, ever since that
period of our lives which I may describe as our checkered child'ood, to
reach the top of the social tree.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Hah!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady Twombley, you'll pardon my remarking that you are a little trying.
I say, Fan and I desiah to reach the top of the social tree, where the
cocoanuts are. Excuse m