way things are going on here.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Aren't you? I think things are beautifully smooth.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

I'm pretty comfortable at Drumdurris myself, thank you; but I'm getting
extremely anxious about Joseph.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

So am I.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

I'm afraid Joseph isn't enjoying his little holiday at all. Did you
observe him at dinner last night?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Who could help it? The man eats enough for six.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

He's obliged to, his holiday being so brief. But these fine folks treat
him as contemptuously as if he were a snail in a cabbage.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Then why does he talk with the leg of a grouse sticking out of the side
of his mouth? Why does he drink people's health across the table and
call the men-servants "old chaps?"

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

Dear Jo! There's nothing classy about him.

[DRUMDURRIS, in shooting dress, enters, carrying a light wooden box.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Why does he swallow his knife and build pyramids with his bread; and
tell long stories with no meaning at all or else with two?

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

Well, you must take Jo as Heaven made him. So you'd better make things
smooth for him with Lord Drumdurris. If not----

LADY TWOMBLEY.

If not?

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

If not, Jo might, after all, decline to renew.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh!

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

And then there would be the devil to pay, wouldn't there?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

As far as I can see there are two devils to pay already.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

Ha, ha! Here's Drumdurris. Remember.

[After talking to the others, DRUMDURRIS approaches LADY TWOMBLEY,
bowing stiffly to MRS. GAYLUSTRE, who shakes her fist behind his back,
LADY TWOMBLEY gives a small nervous shriek.]

EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.

Aunt?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

[With her hand to her heart.] Spasms.

MRS. GAYLUSTRE.

[Smiling sweetly at DRUMDURRIS.] Delightful morning.

[She takes up a newspaper. SIR JULIAN and LADY EUPHEMIA stroll out.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

[To DRUMDURRIS.] Keith, dear, I want to say a word to you about--dear
Mr. Lebanon.

EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.

Ah! Aunt!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Have patience, Keith!

EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.

Patience!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

When I begged you to entertain him at Drumdurris I didn't deceive you. I
distinctly told you he was one of nature's noblemen.

EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.

I would do much to please you, Aunt Kate, but this individual and his
sister----

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Y