at you have _not_ done.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Pa!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

No, Katherine. Overhearing his shameful proposition, and fearing your
weakness, I had time to hasten to my room, conceal all important papers,
and scribble the memorandum you abstracted.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Why, then----

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

That writing records the exact reverse of the truth.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

And--and Joseph?

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

In the language of the vulgar--Mr. Lebanon is sold. [He goes out.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Julian! Ah! [Staring at the paper.] The exact reverse of the truth! Then
the Rajputana Canal----Julian, why should you be first blackened and
then whitewashed because of your vagabond wife? A cottage--our our own
vegetables! Never! Why shouldn't _I_ have _my_ delicate little financial
operations in the City? Oh, my gracious!

[DRUMDURRIS and BROOKE enter.]

BROOKE TWOMBLEY.

Hullo, Mater--what!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Brooke! Keith! You boys must drive me over to Strachlachan Junction. I
must telegraph to London backwards and forwards all day. Keith, put me
into communication with your Stockbroker in town!

EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.

Aunt!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Silence! I'm on the brink of some delicate little financial operations!
[To BROOKE.] Get out the cart!

BROOKE TWOMBLEY.

The drag's outside.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Come on!

[LEBANON enters hastily.]

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Hi, Drumdurris! Let me 'ave a carriage to go to Strachlachan Junction. I
want to wire to town.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Do you? So do we. We'll give you a lift. Come on! [They all hurry out.]

END OF THE THIRD ACT.

THE FOURTH ACT.

DANCING.

The scene is still the inner hall of Drumdurris Castle, now brilliantly
lighted and florally decorated, the evening after the events of the
previous act.

Waltz-music is heard, then a slight scream, and LEBANON, in full
Highland costume, enters hastily.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I wouldn't 'ave 'ad it 'appen for 'alf a sovereign.

[THE MUNKITTRICK, a fiery old gentleman in Highland dress, enters.]

THE MUNKITTRICK.

Sir, I am most indignant!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I've explained. I felt myself goin' and I caught at what came nearest.

THE MUNKITTRICK.

My daughter came nearest.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I know. Don't make such a fuss about it! Do remember we're at a ball!

THE MUNKITTRICK.

Miss Munkittrick is torn to ribbons.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

All right. Mak