on Committee would predispose him in favor of England's natural
enemy. In view of the possible departure of the Ninth, and the
consequent prolongation of the European war, gold rose several degrees
above freezing point.

TEN O'CLOCK.--The Ninth, don't go to Europe after all. Several members
of Company "K" were observed to shed tears of vexation--or joy! Here is
Col. FISK'S reply.

"To NAPOLEON, _(not in Berlin.)_"

"EFFETE MONARCH:--Can't spare the b-hoys at any price. They're going
into camp down at the 'Branch.' Besides, some of them haven't paid for
their uniforms yet. With regards to Eugenie,"

"I am Right Royally Yours,"

JAS. FISK, JR.

"P.S.--If a large diamond, a team of six black and white horses, a
Sound steamer, or a copy of the _Tribune_, would be of any use to you,
command me. I might also spare you GOULD and some of my relations in
case you were very short of men, and had _some very perilous positions_
to fill up. JAMES."

HALF PAST TEN.--Speculators in New York Central and Hudson River
securities are much excited over a report that Commodore VANDERBILT had
been seen to purchase a watering hose in the store of a well known
manufacturer of gardening implements, on Broadway. He wrapped it in
brown paper, placed it in his $1000 buggy, and drove away behind Dexter
at the rate of 0:01-1/4 per minute. I have it on good authority that
there is no truth in the rumor, circulated a few days ago, that the
Commodore was engaged in negotiation with the Paid Fire Department for
the use of their engines, etc., on some occasion not far distant.

ELEVEN O'CLOCK.--It is now officially announced that the watering hose
referred to in my last is intended for gardening purposes only.

HALF PAST ELEVEN.--Great war between Erie and the _Tribune_. _Tribune_
interdicted on Erie Railway and Boston and Long Branch steamers.
Desolation of the Hub in consequence. Panic amongst _Tribune_
stockholders.

TWELVE.--FISK says that the _Tribune_ is so _heavy_ that it _must_ far
the future be paid for by _weight_, on his steamers. It is felt that
this course, if adopted by Mr. GREELEY, would be financially ruinous to
the interests of his paper.

HALF PAST TWELVE.--It is stated here that Mr. GREELEY, in the effectual
disguise of a bran new hat and respectable boots, succeeded in smuggling
a carpet bag filled with _Tribunes_ on board the _Plymouth Rock_. Much
anxiety is felt here concerning his fate, in case the Admiral should
dis