ave done better, so far as mere fighting is
concerned; but their brutal outrages exceed so greatly the hen-roost
exploits of WENDELL PHILLIPS'S devoted darkies, that they are certainly
entitled to be organized into battalions bearing the title of the
NAPOLEON Black Guards.

* * * * *

"THE VOICE OF THE TURTLE."

According to a newspaper paragraph, turtles are growing used to being
canned alive, now, on the Pacific Coast. On hearing of this atrocity,
the Nine Muses repaired at once to the office of PUNCHINELLO, and here
is the result of their visit:

'Tis the voice of the Turtle
That's heard in the land.
Crying, "Bother your care!
I don't want to be canned!

"Pack me whole in a tub,
Nor be stingy of ice,
What I want is a BERGH,
Nothing less will suffice."

* * * * *

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

_Black-eyed Susan_ asks us whether a Pitched battle can take place on
land.
_Answer._--Certainly not. When we speak of a battle being Pitched we
mean that it has been fought by Tars.

_Fogbank._--"Is DANA, of _The Sun_, any relation to "Truthful JAMES," of
whom the _Overland Monthy_ has written?"
_Answer._--Distantly related, through intermarriage with the LONGBOWS.

_Moses._--We do not suppose that the person referred to by you as a
Dyer and Scourer is in any way related to OLIVER DYER, although the
latter person scoured Water Street some time since, and very
effectually, in pursuit of a "sensation." The word "Scourer,"
nevertheless, might be an allowable corruption of "Esquire," when
applied to any of the proprietors of that mephitic daily, _The Sun_.

_Pickerel._--Will Mr. GREELEY be obliged to dress in court costume if he
accepts the mission to the Court of St. JAMES?
_Answer._--No. It would be contrary to Mr. GREELEY'S well-known
principles to get on "tights."

_Flagroot._--Is it correct to say the "balance" of an army, meaning the
rest of it?
_Answer._--Not always. When an army has turned the Scale of battle,
however, the word Balance may be used.

_Mary Jane._--I have embroidered a flag for the Prussian army, and am at
a loss for a motto. How would "Bear and Forbear" do?
_Answer._--"Beer and for Beer" would be better.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "THERE!--I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE THE UNDERTOW THAT WOULD RUN
AWAY WITH ME!"]

* * * * *