employment on the Press, have kept me attached to the staff of
PUNCHINELLO. The anguish which Finance has cost an artistic soul no one
may ever know. The silent tear may fall, but it shall be buried in my
bosom. The spectacle of my hidden suffering shall stand as a reproach to
one whom I once HONORED and now PITY.

Divesting myself of that part of my nature which is comprised in the
good, the beautiful and true, I betook myself yesterday to Wall Street
and the Gold Room. At the portals of the Financial Menagerie, a
gentleman placed his hand upon my shoulder.

Was I a subscriber?

No, but I was a comic writer.

He said I looked as though I had seen misfortune. If I was not a
subscriber, perhaps I had been in the Penitentiary, served out a
sentence at Sing Sing, or procured a divorce from my wife?

I had done none of these things.

I was not a member of the Legislature?

No.

A brilliant idea struck him. Perhaps I had been an editor?

I pleaded guilty.

He thought that would do--I might go in.

I went in, and herewith submit to you the result of my investigations.

NINE O'CLOCK.--On opening this morning, a scarcity of money was
perceptible in the market. It was especially perceptible in the case of
your contributor. (This is _not_ a hint that a week's salary in advance
would be acceptable.) Peanuts are much sought after. (They are excellent
things to pelt a fellow with.) Apples were inquired after, but upon a
rumor that they were unripe, they declined several per cent.

HALF PAST NINE.--The following telegram has just been received here.

"METZ, August 11th.

_"To His Serene Highness, the Prince of Erie, Duke of the Grand Opera
House, Admiral of Narragansett, Commander of the Ninth, etc., etc.,
etc., Erie Palace, New York City._

"ROYAL BROTHER:--Louis has received his baptism of fire. McMAHON wept.
He is training to dispute with Miss LOUISA MOORE, the proud title of the
'Champion Weepist.'

"Send me the Ninth, and the flower of _Opera Bouffe_--aye, even the
great SCHNEIDER--shall be thine. 'Tis France that calls--be kind.
Fraternally thine own,

NAP."

It was at first thought that H.S.H. would accede to the Emperor's
request, his recent treaty with the Court of the _Grande Duchesse_ and
his diplomatic relations with the Viennoise Ballet Troupe having
rendered the event far from improbable. It was also considered that the
hostility which he has openly displayed towards the British Erie
Protecti