loved a very ample return. But the
non-lover has no such tormenting recollections; he has never neglected
his affairs or quarrelled with his relations; he has no troubles to
add up or excuses to invent; and being well rid of all these evils, why
should he not freely do what will gratify the beloved? If you say that
the lover is more to be esteemed, because his love is thought to be
greater; for he is willing to say and do what is hateful to other men,
in order to please his beloved;--that, if true, is only a proof that he
will prefer any future love to his present, and will injure his old
love at the pleasure of the new. And how, in a matter of such infinite
importance, can a man be right in trusting himself to one who is
afflicted with a malady which no experienced person would attempt to
cure, for the patient himself admits that he is not in his right mind,
and acknowledges that he is wrong in his mind, but says that he is
unable to control himself? And if he came to his right mind, would he
ever imagine that the desires were good which he conceived when in his
wrong mind? Once more, there are many more non-lovers than lovers; and
if you choose the best of the lovers, you will not have many to choose
from; but if from the non-lovers, the choice will be larger, and you
will be far more likely to find among them a person who is worthy of
your friendship. If public opinion be your dread, and you would avoid
reproach, in all probability the lover, who is always thinking that
other men are as emulous of him as he is of them, will boast to some
one of his successes, and make a show of them openly in the pride of his
heart;--he wants others to know that his labour has not been lost; but
the non-lover is more his own master, and is desirous of solid good, and
not of the opinion of mankind. Again, the lover may be generally noted
or seen following the beloved (this is his regular occupation), and
whenever they are observed to exchange two words they are supposed to
meet about some affair of love either past or in contemplation; but when
non-lovers meet, no one asks the reason why, because people know that
talking to another is natural, whether friendship or mere pleasure
be the motive. Once more, if you fear the fickleness of friendship,
consider that in any other case a quarrel might be a mutual calamity;
but now, when you have given up what is most precious to you, you will
be the greater loser, and therefore, you will have mo