re reason in
being afraid of the lover, for his vexations are many, and he is always
fancying that every one is leagued against him. Wherefore also he
debars his beloved from society; he will not have you intimate with
the wealthy, lest they should exceed him in wealth, or with men of
education, lest they should be his superiors in understanding; and he is
equally afraid of anybody's influence who has any other advantage over
himself. If he can persuade you to break with them, you are left without
a friend in the world; or if, out of a regard to your own interest, you
have more sense than to comply with his desire, you will have to quarrel
with him. But those who are non-lovers, and whose success in love is the
reward of their merit, will not be jealous of the companions of their
beloved, and will rather hate those who refuse to be his associates,
thinking that their favourite is slighted by the latter and benefited by
the former; for more love than hatred may be expected to come to him out
of his friendship with others. Many lovers too have loved the person of
a youth before they knew his character or his belongings; so that when
their passion has passed away, there is no knowing whether they will
continue to be his friends; whereas, in the case of non-lovers who were
always friends, the friendship is not lessened by the favours granted;
but the recollection of these remains with them, and is an earnest of
good things to come.

Further, I say that you are likely to be improved by me, whereas the
lover will spoil you. For they praise your words and actions in a wrong
way; partly, because they are afraid of offending you, and also, their
judgment is weakened by passion. Such are the feats which love exhibits;
he makes things painful to the disappointed which give no pain to
others; he compels the successful lover to praise what ought not to
give him pleasure, and therefore the beloved is to be pitied rather
than envied. But if you listen to me, in the first place, I, in my
intercourse with you, shall not merely regard present enjoyment, but
also future advantage, being not mastered by love, but my own master;
nor for small causes taking violent dislikes, but even when the cause
is great, slowly laying up little wrath--unintentional offences I shall
forgive, and intentional ones I shall try to prevent; and these are the
marks of a friendship which will last.

Do you think that a lover only can be a firm friend? reflect:-