yourself.

CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure
an office from the people is given one by the Administration on
condition that he leave the country.

CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already
decided on.

CONTEMPT, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too
formidable safely to be opposed.

CONTROVERSY, n. A battle in which spittle or ink replaces the
injurious cannon-ball and the inconsiderate bayonet.

In controversy with the facile tongue--
That bloodless warfare of the old and young--
So seek your adversary to engage
That on himself he shall exhaust his rage,
And, like a snake that's fastened to the ground,
With his own fangs inflict the fatal wound.
You ask me how this miracle is done?
Adopt his own opinions, one by one,
And taunt him to refute them; in his wrath
He'll sweep them pitilessly from his path.
Advance then gently all you wish to prove,
Each proposition prefaced with, "As you've
So well remarked," or, "As you wisely say,
And I cannot dispute," or, "By the way,
This view of it which, better far expressed,
Runs through your argument." Then leave the rest
To him, secure that he'll perform his trust
And prove your views intelligent and just.

Conmore Apel Brune

CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to
meditate upon the vice of idleness.

CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental
commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of
his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

CORONATION, n. The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward
and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a
dynamite bomb.

CORPORAL, n. A man who occupies the lowest rung of the military
ladder.

Fiercely the battle raged and, sad to tell,
Our corporal heroically fell!
Fame from her height looked down upon the brawl
And said: "He hadn't very far to fall."

Giacomo Smith

CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit
without individual responsibility.

CORSAIR, n. A politician of the seas.

COURT FOOL, n. The plaintiff.

COWARD, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but
less indigestible.

In this small fish I take it that human wisdom is admirably
figured and symbolized;