sh, or slice
A husband like a spud, or with a shot
Bring down a debtor doubled in a knot
And ready to be put upon the ice.
Some miscreants there are, whom I do long
To shoot, to stab, or some such way reclaim
The scurvy rogues to better lives and manners,
I seem to see them now--a mighty throng.
It looks as if to challenge _me_ they came,
Jauntily marching with brass bands and banners!

Xamba Q. Dar

DULLARD, n. A member of the reigning dynasty in letters and life.
The Dullards came in with Adam, and being both numerous and sturdy
have overrun the habitable world. The secret of their power is their
insensibility to blows; tickle them with a bludgeon and they laugh
with a platitude. The Dullards came originally from Boeotia, whence
they were driven by stress of starvation, their dullness having
blighted the crops. For some centuries they infested Philistia, and
many of them are called Philistines to this day. In the turbulent
times of the Crusades they withdrew thence and gradually overspread
all Europe, occupying most of the high places in politics, art,
literature, science and theology. Since a detachment of Dullards came
over with the Pilgrims in the _Mayflower_ and made a favorable report
of the country, their increase by birth, immigration, and conversion
has been rapid and steady. According to the most trustworthy
statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but
little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians. The
intellectual centre of the race is somewhere about Peoria, Illinois,
but the New England Dullard is the most shockingly moral.

DUTY, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit,
along the line of desire.

Sir Lavender Portwine, in favor at court,
Was wroth at his master, who'd kissed Lady Port.
His anger provoked him to take the king's head,
But duty prevailed, and he took the king's bread,
Instead.

G.J.

E

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of
mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

"I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner," said Brillat-Savarin,
beginning an anecdote. "What!" interrupted Rochebriant; "eating dinner
in a drawing-room?" "I must beg you to observe, monsieur," explained
the great gastronome, "that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but
enjoying it. I had dined an hour before."

EAVESDROP, v.i. Secretly