ng to the weather, wearing whatever breeze happened to
be blowing.

GRAMMAR, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet
for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to
distinction.

GRAPE, n.

Hail noble fruit!--by Homer sung,
Anacreon and Khayyam;
Thy praise is ever on the tongue
Of better men than I am.

The lyre in my hand has never swept,
The song I cannot offer:
My humbler service pray accept--
I'll help to kill the scoffer.
The water-drinkers and the cranks
Who load their skins with liquor--
I'll gladly bear their belly-tanks
And tap them with my sticker.

Fill up, fill up, for wisdom cools
When e'er we let the wine rest.
Here's death to Prohibition's fools,
And every kind of vine-pest!

Jamrach Holobom

GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to
the demands of American Socialism.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of
the medical student.

Beside a lonely grave I stood--
With brambles 'twas encumbered;
The winds were moaning in the wood,
Unheard by him who slumbered,

A rustic standing near, I said:
"He cannot hear it blowing!"
"'Course not," said he: "the feller's dead--
He can't hear nowt [sic] that's going."

"Too true," I said; "alas, too true--
No sound his sense can quicken!"
"Well, mister, wot is that to you?--
The deadster ain't a-kickin'."

I knelt and prayed: "O Father, smile
On him, and mercy show him!"
That countryman looked on the while,
And said: "Ye didn't know him."

Pobeter Dunko

GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another
with a strength proportion to the quantity of matter they contain--
the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength
of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and
edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B,
makes B the proof of A.

GREAT, adj.

"I'm great," the Lion said--"I reign
The monarch of the wood and plain!"

The Elephant replied: "I'm great--
No quadruped can match my weight!"

"I'm great--no animal has half
So long a neck!" said the Giraffe.

"I'm great," the Kangaroo said--"see
My femoral muscularity!"

The 'Possum said: "I'm great--behold,
My tail is lithe and bald and cold!"

An Oyster frie