at she has had to leave at home her
Persian cat Abracadabra, called "Abe" for short. "Abe," by the way,
figures prominently in a bright personal article about Mrs. Ray Clammer
which Miss Marjorie Moult contributes to _The Penwiper_ for May.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lady Canvasser._ "I've called to ask you to give us
something for the O.P.Q.S. The----"

_Old Gentleman._ "My dear lady, I already give away one-tenth of my
income."

_Lady Canvasser._ "Oh, just this year, couldn't you make it an
eleventh?"]

* * * * *

Another Impending Apology.

"Meanwhile Dick Smith is matched with Carpentier, and will
receive L200 as the loser's end of a L1,200 purse offered by the
Liverpool Stadium."--_Daily Mail._

If it is as certain as this we shall put our money on Carpentier.

* * * * *

"Fallen by the Way.
Making a Deep Impression."

_Advt. in "Era."_

Evidently an accident to the heavy tragedians.

* * * * *

"Nurse, superior, or Help wanted, immediately: go to seaside:
experienced infant."

_Advt. in "The Manchester Guardian."_

The infant: "Let her come. I think I shall know how to deal with her."

* * * * *

"WRONGLY ATTRIBUTED."

You've heard of Willy Ferrero, the Boy Conductor? A musical prodigy,
seven years old, who will order the fifth oboe out of the Albert Hall as
soon as look at him. Well, he has a rival.

Willy, as perhaps you know, does not play any instrument himself; he
only conducts. His rival (Johnny, as I think of him) does not conduct as
yet; at least, not audibly. His line is the actual manipulation of the
pianoforte--the Paderewski touch. Johnny lives in the flat below, and I
hear him touching.

On certain mornings in the week--no need to specify them--I enter my
library and give myself up to literary composition. On the same mornings
little Johnny enters his music-room (underneath) and gives himself up to
musical composition. Thus we are at work together.

The worst of literary composition is this: that when you have got hold
of what you feel is a really powerful idea you find suddenly that you
have been forestalled by some earlier writer--Sophocles or Shakspeare or
George R. Sims. Then you have to think again. This frequently happens to
me upstairs; and downstairs poor Johnny will find to his ho